Jesus Meditations

Set your Spirit Free

2012-01-03T15:48:00.000Z

My child,
My children,
you are so beautifully;
so wonderfully made;
body,
mind
and spirit
in equal measure.
And yet it grieves Me
that the spirit
is so often
locked away
in a little corner,
forgotten;
ignored;
quashed
by the mightier forces
of body and mind;
brought out
on rare occasions
as if ‘to perform’.
But the spirit
is gentle.
It does not push.
It does not seek
to dominate;
to override.
It needs time.
It needs space.
It needs encouragement
from the body and mind
for it to flourish.
So, My child,
My children,
I ask you now
to let your Spirit
fly free.
Give it time.
Give it space.
Give it encouragement
to develop.
Do not let the body
crush it with restlessness.
Do not let the mind
override it with other thoughts.
Let it be.
Let it sing through your lips.
Let it speak through your mouth.
Let it hear through your ears.
Let it love through your heart.
Let it grow
in knowledge
and in truth
through your mind.
It will grow strong
if you nurture it;
strong enough
to carry you on eagles’ wings
to the very gates of heaven
where I dwell.
And there you will begin to know Me;
begin to know as you are known;
and you will never want to look back.
My child,
My children,
I urge you now
to set your spirit free.

© Kathleen Wilks

To Be

2012-01-03T15:42:00.001Z

My child,
you are frustrated
because you cannot ‘do’.
But
you are missing
one of my greatest gifts -
time.
So many of My children
long for
this gift.
They rush around
filling all their day
with ‘doing’.
They are tired and weary
and they wonder
where I am;
why they cannot find Me;
why they cannot know Me;
why they cannot see Me;
get in touch with Me.
I want My children to ‘be’.
Just
to ‘be’
first of all.,
and then
to ‘do’.
I want My children
to spend time with Me;
to get to know Me;
to share with Me;
to speak;
to be silent;
to love;
to ‘be’
in My presence.
This is the greatest thing
I ask of you at present,
My child.
As
a mother and her child
enjoy
a time of togetherness;
a time of talking and sharing;
of question and answer;
of discussion,
within a framework of love;
So, My child,
do I long
to have such a time
with you.
A time apart
when you are not rushing;
when your mind is still
and you can hear Me;
when your eyes are not darting here and there
and you can see me.
And so I wait
each day
for this time;
longing
for you to come,
My precious child.

© Kathleen Wilks

Pilate

2012-01-03T15:36:00.000Z

It was so easy
to be brutal.
Everyone understood
brutality.
It was what made the world run.
It was what kept us in power.
(where we deserved to be.)
No-one got anywhere
by being ‘soft’.
There was no doubt
that we were superior.
But ‘they’ didn’t think so.
‘They’ had such a high opinion
of themselves.
‘They’ looked down their noses
at us.
‘They’ claimed to be
The Chosen Race.
Huh!
We,
I, would sort them out.
I would put a stop
to this attitude.
I would win.
I would show them
who was boss.
Any wrong-doing;
any transgression
and they would pay.
Like I said -
everyone understood
brutality.
And then I heard of
this man;
this preacher
who was gaining disciples.
He intrigued me.
For a start
he didn’t condone violence.
And, if that was true,
he couldn’t possibly be a threat
to me,
could he?
I couldn’t fathom
his game plan.
And what was more intriguing,
his own leaders
had turned against him.
Well,
let them deal with him,
and then the problem,
if there was a problem,
would be solved.
I was not going to lose sleep over it.
But then,
quite out of the blue,
the ‘problem’
was put firmly in my lap.
To keep the peace
I agreed to meet ‘them’.
And that is how I came face to face
with this man;
the ‘problem’.
Anyone less like a troublemaker
would have been hard to find.
Amidst all the anger;
the hatred,
he just stood there.
He was calm.
He didn’t seem overawed.
He wasn’t rebellious.
He was an enigma
and, despite myself,
I wanted to find out more.
So I questioned him.
I challenged him.
I gave him every opportunity
to defend himself.
I think I wanted him
to defend himself;
to plead with me;
to beg.
But he didn’t.
He just stood there
looking at me;
looking into me even.
It made me uncomfortable.
But,
as I reminded myself,
I was in charge.
I am in charge.
I have the power
and
I will use it.

© Kathleen Wilks

Judas

2012-01-03T15:20:00.001Z

I thought he was a man
after my own heart -
a rebel-rouser;
a crusader;
a man I could look up to;
a leader I could follow.
He had it all -
charisma;
oratory;
people skills.
Yes.
He was the man.
He could lead us
to victory.
So
I joined his group.
I became his disciple.
I watched
and
I waited
with increasing anticipation.
I could see his strategy,
his plans.
To be sure,
they weren’t the same old
tried and tested plans
but, then again,
these old plans had failed.
Something new was needed.
He saw that
and I admired him for it.
I didn’t quite see
how it would all work
but
he seemed to know what he was doing.
He seemed to have the confidence.
You should have seen
how he stood up
to the Pharisees;
to the Sadducees;
to the Teachers of the Law.
Wow.
This was revolution.
This was exciting.
First the Church.
Next the Romans.
Then the world…
I so wanted to be part of it
and
I was.
So what,
I kept a little money
for myself.
Just insurance.
Just for a rainy day.
One had to be prepared.
One had to look after Number One.
That was always the first rule;
Always understood.
And anyway
the others didn’t seem to object.
At least, they never mentioned it if they did.
And then
he started talking
about going to Jerusalem.
There was a new determination in him
and I knew
this was it -
the climax;
the beginning.
A new world beckoned.
The atmosphere became
tense;
apprehensive
but
exciting.
We entered Jerusalem
and
all the people rose up
shouting;
singing
Hosanna;
Hallelujah…
Yes,
this was it.
Onwards
and upwards.
But then
it all changed.
He started going on
about dying;
about death.
Had he lost the will to fight?
Had his courage failed him?
Had he admitted defeat
even before he had tried?
No.
No, no, no!
He couldn’t stop now.
I wouldn’t let him.
He needed spurring on.
He needed provoking.
He needed stirring into action
one last time.
I thought of a plan.
Who were his worst critics?
Who hated him most?
- the Chief Priests.
I would go to them.
That would make him fight.
Surely,
that would make him rise up.
I will go tonight.

© Kathleen Wilks

Let Me help

2009-08-01T11:31:00.003Z

You are all
such little children
and
I love you.
I love you so much more
than you can understand;
so much more
than you can grasp.
Whenever I see you
hurting,
afraid,
upset,
lost
My heart goes out
to you.
I am standing before you now
hoping,
longing
for you to run
to Me
for comfort,
for strength,
for guidance,
for love.
But
you do not come.
You turn away.
Still
I stand before you
longing
for you to let Me
embrace you,
hold you,
until
the anger,
the pain,
the sadness
subsides.
O My children,
My child,
will you let Me
hold you?
Will you let Me
help you?
I am standing before you now.
I am only
a word,
a whisper,
a heartbeat
away.
My heart is breaking
as I see you
curled up
into yourself.
My children,
My child,
I am standing before you now,
with open arms,
waiting.

c Kathleen Wilks

Christmas

2008-12-24T13:15:00.001Z

Come.
Come to the stable
and
see My Son.
Do not stand
at the entrance.
Come in.
Come among Us.
Join Us.
Join in
Our celebrations.
This is
My Son,
born today.
He is
My Gift
to the world;
My Gift
to My people;
My Gift
to you.
He is
everything
to Me;
He is
part
of Me;
He is
Me.
And
I give Him
to you.
Do what you will
with Him;
love Him,
hate Him,
despise Him,
ignore Him.
It is your choice.

My longing
is that you choose
to love Him;
to cherish Him;
to bind yourself to Him
for in so doing
this will bring you
more
than you could ever dream of;
joy,
such joy;
peace,
such peace;
love,
such love
as you have never known.
He is
My Gift
to you
today
and
I wait for your response.
Will you
accept My Gift?
Will you
accept Him?

© Kathleen Wilks

God's Gift

2008-12-24T13:12:00.001Z

Come
and see
the Gift
I have
for you.

I know
you think
that I don’t care;
that I have forgotten you,
but
you are wrong,
so wrong.
I will show you
just how deep
My love is
for you.
For now
the time is right
for it to be
revealed.

Come
with Me,
My child,
and let Me show you
how much
I care;
how much
I love you.

It is dark
on the way
but
I will guide you.
Just trust
Me
and soon you will see
light.
Then,
when your eyes
become accustomed
to this light
you will see
My Gift
to you,
My child…

Can you see
Him,
lying there
in His mother’s arms?
so small;
so helpless;
so vulnerable,
and yet
this;
this
is My Son,
My beloved Son.
He is so like
Me;
so like Me
that
He
is
Me.

Go on,
do not be afraid,
reach out and
touch Me.
Give Me
your hand
and feel
how I respond.
Open your arms
to receive
Me.
Hold Me close.
Look into My face.
Look into My eyes.
Look hard;
look long;
look deep.
Let Me see
all your doubts,
all your fears
disappear.
Keep looking.
My gaze
will not waver
until I see
the light
of understanding
in your eyes;
until I see
My love for you
returned.

And hold Me.
Hold Me tightly
to your heart.
Do not let go
until
I have felt it melt;
until
I know that it is Mine;
until
you know that we are
forever joined;
forever one.

Stay.
stay in this place
until you know
beyond any shadow of doubt
that
this is My Gift;
My Gift
to you,
to say
I love you.

© Kathleen Wilks

Valued

2008-12-24T13:11:00.001Z

My child,
I will
use you
in ways that
will bring joy
to you;
to Me;
to others.
Why do you doubt
that I will do this?
There is such need
in the world;
such need.
The harvest is ripe.
The harvest is plentiful
but the labourers;
My labourers
are few.
Why would you think
I would not use
you?
It may not be
in ways you
expect;
understand;
even
are aware of
but
you are so much
a part
of My plan
that it would be
incomplete
without you.
My child,
why would you ever think
you were
not needed;
not valued?
In My kingdom
all are needed;
all are valued;
all are precious
beyond price.
My Son
died for you.
Is that not enough
to convince you
of your worth
to Me?
Relax.
Do not strive.
Seek only
to stay close
to Me
and
let Me
work in you
and through you.
I have used you
in ways you may never know.
I am using you
now
and
I will use you
in the future
if you stay close
to Me.
Let My words
flow through you
and
they will not return to Me
empty.
My child,
just be yourself;
be the person I created
and
do not doubt.

© Kathleen Wilks

Never alone

2008-12-07T16:38:00.002Z

You do not travel
any journey
alone.
There is no time
when
I am not with you.
There is no time
when
I leave you
to fend for yourself.
Even when
it is very dark;
even when
you feel
lost;
abandoned,
I am there.
I go before you.
I go behind you.
I go beside you.
We cannot be separated.
I am with you
and
you are with Me.
Does this not
give you confidence?
Does this not
give you peace?
If it does not
then
it is because
you do not truly believe.
Be still awhile
and
dwell on these truths.
Let them
sink into your very being.
Let them
become part of you.
Then,
and only then
go forth;
go forward
from this place
with joy.
My beloved,
I want you
to know
this joy.

© Kathleen Wilks

Fear not

2008-11-30T12:37:00.001Z

My child,
you see before you
a mountain;
a mountain
that is
too high;
too steep;
that is
unconquerable;
insurmountable.
Listen
to Me.
Listen again
to My words:
If you have faith
even as small
as a mustard seed
you can say
to this mountain,
move,
and it will move.
Do you believe this?
Do you believe
that I can do this?
Do you believe
that I am willing;
that I want
to do this,
for you?
I do not want
to see you
afraid
and anxious;
unable to move forward
because of this mountain.
Put your hand
in Mine
and trust Me.
I can see
the path ahead.
It is neither
too high
nor too steep.
It is neither
unconquerable
nor insurmountable.
It is just
part of your walk
with Me;
a new part;
an exciting part.
Come with Me now.
Walk forward boldly.
I promise you
that,
once we reach
the other side,
you will be able
to look back
with joy.

© Kathleen Wilks

Take this Bread

2008-08-17T13:33:00.000Z

Take the bread,
My child.
It is My gift to you.
But
as you hold out your hands
hold out also yourself.
As you uncurl your fingers
uncurl also your being.
Open yourself to My love.
Straighten up.
Stand tall.
You are a child of God;
My child.
I want you to know this.
I want you to be confident
of the place you have
in My heart.
I do not want
to see you
unsure;
uncertain.
I do not want
to see you
withdrawn;
ashamed;
distressed.
I want you to look at Me.
I want you to gaze at Me.
I want you to look
deep
and long
into My eyes;
long enough to see there
the love I have for you;
long enough to let it enter
your eyes,
your heart,
your soul;
long enough to let it burn away
all doubts;
all fears;
all feelings of unworthiness.
Therefore,
as you eat the bread
and
as you drink the wine
take them into yourself
as the gifts of My love;
My love for you
My precious child.

© Kathleen Wilks

Trust in Me

2008-08-17T13:31:00.001Z

I have told you before
that
you do not have to ‘do’
to earn My love,
nor
to keep My love.
It is there,
constant,
everlasting,
available,
free.
My child,
enjoy it,
revel in it,
drown in it.
Let it saturate
your very being
so that
it flows out through you
to others
without you knowing,
without you ‘doing’.
Just being in My love
will change you.

Until you know this,
all I ask of you
is that you
stay still,
stay close,
stay silent.

When you are ready
to move on,
I will guide you.
I will show you
My plans for you,
But for now
rest,
relax
in My presence.
Trust Me.
Learn to trust Me more.
You do not yet trust Me
enough.
Your God is too small.
It is not Me.
It is not even
a small part of Me.
I am
bigger,
greater,
more powerful
than you can imagine.

The desert
is the special place
where you can learn
to trust,
to lean,
to rely
on Me
and Me alone.
Only fear not
for I am Love.
and because of My love
I have led you
into the desert.
See it for what it is,
a special place.
If My Son had to learn this
how much more do you.

What is learnt in the desert
is not quickly forgotten.
And
I do not want you
to forget
this special time.
It will not last forever.
I know that
sometimes
it is hard for you
but I promise
that, in time,
you will look back
and see this
as a place
of blessing,
My blessing,
to a beloved child.

© Kathleen Wilks

Everything

2008-06-20T12:08:00.002Z

My child,
how can you want more
than everything?
Everything
I have
is yours.
You do not receive
because
you do not ask.
Why do you not ask?
Have I not said
that you can ask Me
for anything
in My name
and
you will receive.
And yet
you stand
on the shoreline,
looking out
over the vast ocean,
and you envy
those who
have ventured in.
Have courage.
Believe.
Take a step
into the waters;
into the ocean
of My love;
of My grace.
Go further;
go deeper
until
you are out of your depth
in My love;
until
you can no longer stand
on your own feet;
until
you can no longer rely
on your own efforts;
until
you have to let Me
hold you;
until
you have to trust
Me.
And,
once you do,
you will be free;
free
to enjoy the waters;
free
to laugh;
to play;
to splash;
to swim
with Me,
your loving Father.
Come,
there is room
for everyone.

© Kathleen Wilks

My Yoke

2008-06-03T10:38:00.000Z

My beloved child,
take My yoke upon you.
Walk with Me.
Walk beside Me.
Walk at My pace.
If you will
only let Me
be the pace-setter
you will find
rest.
You are rushing ahead
into unploughed land
and you get bogged down.
You cannot see the way
and you get lost.
Hear My call
to come back
to My side;
to harness yourself again
to Me.
Let Me
take the strain
and you will have
peace.
I know the path
we will take.
I will set the pace;
a pace
set just for you.
Do not look at others
for each one
who is harnessed
with Me
will go
at a different speed,
to a different goal.
I have a goal
for you.
I know the way.
I know the time.
I know the pace.
Simply
take your place
beside Me;
lean on Me;
be guided by Me
and you will find
rest.

© Kathleen Wilks

I know...

2008-06-03T10:31:00.002Z

I know,
My child,
I know.
I see inside you
all the places
that hurt.
They are hidden
to the world
but
I see.
Let Me in.
Let Me touch them
for Mine
is a healing touch.
You think
that you can cover up
these places.
You hope
that they will go away
in time.
But
they are a burden to you;
an unnecessary burden.
Why do you bear
a burden
that I have already borne
for you;
am bearing
for you?
I am the One
Who came
to bear your grief;
to carry your afflictions.
I came willingly.
I came for you.
I did this
for you.
But
unless you let Me in
I cannot help;
unless you let Me in
I cannot touch these places.
My touch
is a healing touch
but
even a healing touch
on these places
may bring pain
for a time
until the poison
is drained;
until the scars
are no more.
Yet
is not this healing pain
worth it
to be free
to live;
to live
as you were meant to do;
to live
the abundant life
which is
My gift
to you?
And so,
My child,
My precious child,
I wait.
I wait
for your invitation
to be allowed in;
to be allowed
to touch
and to heal.

© Kathleen Wilks

Touch Me

2008-05-11T13:00:00.002Z

You
have come
to My house
and I welcome you.
You have knelt
before Me
in worship.
You have spoken to Me
in prayer.
You have even listened
to My words
to you,
but
you have not
touched Me.
Unless
you touch Me
My power
cannot be released
in you;
to you;
through you.
You need
to draw close
to Me;
to touch Me;
to touch
even
the hem of My garment.
Then,
and only then,
will you know My power
working in you;
working with you;
working through you.
My child;
My children,
I know too
how much
you long
for Me
to touch you;
to put My hand
upon all those places
that hurt;
to put My arms
around you;
to hold you
close.
As you long
for My touch
so
I long for yours.
Do not be afraid.
Do not fear
what others might say.
Do not fear
what might happen.
I will not harm you.
I will not embarrass you.
I seek only
to show you
how much
I love you.
I long
to show you.
I long for you
to come to Me,
to come in trust;
to come eagerly;
to come without fear
as a child
runs to its mother
and is caught up
in her arms.
I long for you
to be like
that child.
So many;
so many
of My children
are starved
of the touch of others;
of My touch.
Do not be one of them.
Accept My invitation.
Come.
Come now
and
touch Me.

© Kathleen Wilks

The Shoreline

2008-04-30T12:24:00.001Z

See the boat
out there
on the horizon?
Are you ready
to walk with Me
to that boat?
I know
that you think you are ready.
I know
that you want to say yes
as you sit here
on the sand
but,
when we reach the shoreline
will you come?
My child,
do not be afraid.
I will only take you
to the shoreline
when the time
is right.
I will not ask of you
more
than you can give.
This time,
sitting with Me
on the sand
is precious.
Relax.
Relax
in My presence
and
enjoy this time.
Leave it to Me
to decide
when you are ready.
There are many boats
out there
but
I know
the one
I would take you to.
And,
when we go,
do not fear the journey.
We will start slowly.
I will carry you
on My shoulders,
a little further each time,
until you trust Me
enough
to ask Me
to let you walk
beside Me,
holding My hand.
When you see
that you can do this;
when you gain confidence,
we will go further.

Think of the sea
as My love
and not
as a thing to be feared.
You would not fear
to be out of your depth
in My love.
Rather
you would welcome it;
be excited by it.
So, My child,
sit with Me now;
talk with Me;
learn from Me.
Together
let us watch the boats
on the horizon,
and,
one day,
I will point out to you
your boat.
Then
I will take you
to the shoreline
and ask you
to walk
to that boat
with Me.

© Kathleen Wilks

Today

2008-04-11T10:01:00.001Z

My child,
I have given you
today;
this day.
Do not waste it
dwelling
on yesterday.
Give yesterday
to Me;
all the hurt;
all the pain,
and
I will deal with it.
I will take it
from you
and
bear it
for you.
And,
do not waste
this day
worrying
about tomorrow.
You do not know
My plans
for your tomorrow
but
I do.
You must trust Me.
Why do you not yet
trust Me?
Do you not yet believe;
Do you not yet know
how much
I love you?
You need to believe;
you need to know
that I am there;
that I will be there
with you
whatever happens.
Nothing is outside
My control.
So,
take today,
this day,
as My gift
to you
and enjoy it.
Seek Me
always;
in everything.
I am there
whether in the sunshine
or in the rain.
If you look for Me,
really look,
you will catch glimpses
of Me.
My child
I long for you
to believe;
to know
that I am there
walking beside you;
watching over you.
I delight in you.
I enjoy being with you,
always;
ever.
You are Mine
and I love you.
My child,
I long for you to know;
to really know,
that I love you.

© Kathleen Wilks

Joy

2008-04-11T09:59:00.001Z

I have come
that
you might have
life;
life
in abundance,
and it saddens Me
when My children
lose their joy;
when you,
My child,
lose your joy.
I am
He
who was there
at the start of creation.
I saw
all that was created
and behold
it was good.
The Garden of Eden
was good
but it became spoilt
and
that is why I came;
that is why
I had to die,
so that
Eden
could be restored;
and
that is why
I am here, now,
with you,
to show you
that the way is open;
the way is open again
back to
joy;
joy in Me
for in Me only
is fullness
of joy.
I know it will be hard.
Nothing worth having
is easily attained
but with Me
all things are possible.
So,
at this time of reflection,
I would ask you,
My child,
to look again
at Me;
at My creation;
to look each day
for something
to delight in;
to bring you joy.
Then
share it with Me;
each thing,
until it becomes a habit;
until it becomes second nature.
There is much sadness
around
and
the world
needs to see;
needs to know
joy;
My joy.
It is only
through My children
that this can truly happen.
Because I died;
because I have risen,
this joy
is available;
is free.
My child,
I long for you
to find
this joy
again,
so that you can be
a channel;
My channel.
Will you do this,
for Me?
My child,
I want you to believe;
to understand;
to know
that you are
My joy;
that you are
My delight.

© Kathleen Wilks

The Good Teacher

2008-04-11T09:56:00.001Z

You are looking
for a teacher;
someone
to show you;
to point you;
to guide you
in the way
you should go.
But
I tell you,
I am the Way.
You need look
no further
than Me.
I will show you.
I will guide you.
All that I ask
of you is
that you
open your eyes;
open your ears;
open your heart
to receive
My teaching.
A good teacher
teaches
in many ways
so that the truth
can be understood;
can be learnt
by all.
I am a good teacher.
I am the Good Teacher
and
I am your Teacher.
I will teach you
all things.
I will teach you
the truth
because
I am Truth.
I can do no other.
There are so many things
that I long
to teach you;
that I long
for you to know.
There is no end
to the depth
of My knowledge
and
if you will walk with Me;
if you will learn from Me;
if you will be My disciple,
I will take you
further;
deeper
into Truth;
into Me
than you can possibly imagine
now.
Do not rely on others.
They are only human.
They may fail you.
They may let you down.
You must wait on Me.
I know
that My children
find it hard
to wait;
to be patient,
but
this is what you must learn
above all,
for
those who wait on the Lord;
who wait on Me,
will
renew their strength.
They will rise up like eagles.
They will run.
They will walk.
I set the pace;
set it
for each of My children;
set it
for you.
Others will have their own pace;
think not to be like them.
Walk with Me
for I am the Way.
Learn from Me
for I am the Truth.
Live in Me
for I am the Life;
the Life you desire
so much.
My child,
come to Me,
sit with Me,
walk and talk with Me
and
be My disciple.

© Kathleen Wilks

Walk with Me

2008-03-17T12:28:00.001Z

My child,
will you put your hand
in Mine
and
walk with Me
even though
you do not know
where we are going?
Will you do this?
Will you do this
for Me?
You think that
you are the only one
who needs companionship
along the way
but
I, too,
long for the company
of friends;
friends
who know Me;
who talk with Me;
who share with Me
their joys,
their sorrows,
their fears
and their delights.
I know what it is
to walk alone.
I have walked that path;
walked it
so that
I can now walk
with others;
with you;
alongside you.
I am
already walking
beside you
along the path
although
you cannot yet
see Me clearly;
you cannot yet
hear me clearly;
you cannot yet
feel My presence
as I long that you should.
But
I am patient.
I will wait.
Your eyes,
your ears,
your heart
will recognise Me
soon
as did My friends
on the road
to Emmaus.
And,
once you do;
once you put out your hand
and feel Me take it
you will no longer
walk in darkness;
no longer
walk in fear
of the unknown.
You may still
not know
where the road will lead
but
you will know
that
I am with you;
that
I am your Guide.
I know
where we are going
and
I will keep you safe.
There are many places
I want to take you;
many things
I want you to see.
My child,
will you put your hand
in Mine
and
trust Me?

© Kathleen Wilks

I am the Rock

2008-03-17T12:23:00.001Z

My child,
I am
the Rock;
your Rock,
in whom
is your anchor.
I am
your shelter;
your protection.
Sometimes
you stray
whether deliberately
or unintentionally
and then
you find yourself
outside
the harbour.
There you encounter
strong winds
and
stormy seas
and you are afraid.
But
you need have no fear
because
you are anchored;
anchored in the Rock
and this Rock
cannot move.
You cannot stray
too far.
Turn.
Turn around
and look.
Look at Me.
My arms are wide enough
to enfold you.
My arms are strong enough
to protect you.
My arms are gentle enough
to comfort you
and
My arms are open now
to receive you.
Come.
Come to Me now.
Look at Me.
Raise your head
and
look at Me.
I know that
you are hurting
and I long for you
to give
that hurt,
that pain,
to Me.
Let Me have it.
I can bear it.
I have already borne it.
It cannot hurt Me
again.
Let it go.
Look up.
Look at Me.
I am standing
in front of you.
See Me.
Fix your eyes on Me.
Learn to do this
until
you can see Me present
in every conversation;
in every meeting;
in every situation:
until
you are aware
of My presence
ever before you;
ever beside you;
ever within you.
I long for you to know
that I am there;
that I am your shield;
that I am your hiding place.
I am
your Rock.
My child,
I will keep you safe.

© Kathleen Wilks

The Lost Sheep

2008-03-17T12:22:00.001Z

I am the Good Shepherd.
I know My sheep
and
My sheep know Me.
I know each one,
each one
of My sheep
by name.
I know their voices
and each voice
is different.
I know their cries
and each cry
is different.
But
I hear each cry,
however loud;
however soft,
whether aloud
or silent.
I hear
and
I come.
I know
that you feel
lost,
abandoned,
afraid.
I know
that you feel
outside
My protection;
My care.
I know
that you fear
the darkness,
the cliff edge,
the thorny bushes
that have entrapped you.
I know.
I care
and
I come.
The darkness
is not dark
to Me.
The thorns,
which have snared you,
cannot hurt Me.
They cannot hurt Me
again.
I have bled once,
unto death
and
I have overcome.
So,
be still.
Do not be afraid.
I am coming.
I have already come.
I will rescue you.
I will restore you.
I will carry you
back;
carry you
in My arms
back home.
And there
we will rejoice.
Trust Me,
My precious one.
I am the Good Shepherd
and
you are the sheep
of My pasture.

© Kathleen Wilks

Comfort Ye

2008-02-27T12:27:00.001Z

My child,
I know
that you are hurting.
I know
the pain inside you
for
I am there
in the midst of it.
I know you longing
for someone to care;
for someone to speak softly to you;
for someone to hold you.
Look not
to others.
They have their own troubles.
They cannot know;
cannot understand
fully
how you feel.
They are not close enough.
They are not there
inside your pain
as I am.
Look rather
to Me.
I understand.
I care
and
I can help.
I long to help.
I will speak softly to you.
My words bring comfort.
My words bring life.
My words bring joy.
And
I will hold you in My arms.
My arms are strong.
They will
hold you;
protect you;
comfort you.
You can do no better
than come to Me.
Turn your eyes,
your thoughts,
your heart
to Me.
One word;
one whisper
from you
is all I need
and
I will be there.

My child,
I am waiting.

© Kathleen Wilks

My Gift

2008-02-27T12:23:00.002Z

My gift
to you
is Myself,
nothing more;
nothing less.

I am here,
surrounding you
with My love;
with Myself.
Relax.
Lean on Me.
You cannot fall
because
you are held;
held
in the palm of My hand.
Give out.
Give all you can.
Offer yourself
to Me,
and,
in that giving,
you will receive;
receive abundantly.
more than you can ask;
more than you can imagine.
You are Mine.
I have called you
here.
I have called you
by name
and
I love you.

© Kathleen Wilks

Out of Egypt

2008-02-19T19:07:00.003Z

I carried you into exile;
carried you there,
not as a punishment
but rather
to teach you,
to teach you
more about Me;
to show you
more of Myself;
to make you
trust Me more;
depend on Me more;
know Me better.
When the way is smooth
you see no need for Me.
you think you can manage
on your own.
Only when the way is rough
do you turn to Me.
I want you
to turn to Me always.
I want
to be always
in your thoughts.
I want you
to know
that without Me
you can do nothing.
I want this
because
I love you.
I want this
because
you are precious to Me.
You are always
in My thoughts
and it grieves Me
when you try
to walk alone;
to manage alone.
There is no need for this.
I am there,
always there,
at your side,
behind
and before you.
My child,
stop this struggle.
Rest on Me.
Rest in Me.
Rest in My love.
And,
when you have learnt to do this;
when we are as one,
I will carry you
back from exile.
I will carry you
out of Egypt
into Canaan,
And there you will dwell
in safety,
secure
in the knowledge
of My love.

© Kathleen Wilks

Holy Fire

2008-02-17T19:11:00.002Z

Turn aside.
Look.
See the fire.
See the flames.
Stand.
Be still.
This is Holy Ground.
Take off your shoes.
Stand.
Look
Look into the flames.
Do you see what is there?
Do you see yourself
engulfed in the flames?
Do you hear them roar?
Do you feel their heat?
Do not be afraid.
Look closer.
You are not harmed.
You are not touched by the flames.
Not a hair of your head is scorched.
Do not fear.
Look again.
How many people do you see?
Are there not two people
in the fire?
You are not alone.
I am with you.
I am there
protecting you;
sharing this fire
with you.
See it for what it is.
It is no threat.
Rather
it is a refining fire.
It will burn away
the dross.
It cannot harm you,
the real you.
I love you
too much
to let any harm
come to you.
Look.
Look at the flames.
See them not
as destructive.
See them
as My Glory;
My Glory
shining
all around.
This is Holy Fire;
This is Holy Ground
for where
I am
is Holy.
And
I am
with you,
My precious child.

© Kathleen Wilks

Holy Ground

2008-02-17T19:07:00.002Z

Yes,
this is Holy Ground
for the Lord your God
is here with you.
I am
here with you.
Let My presence
fill
your very being.
Then
take off your sandals.
Put them aside.
Feel the earth
between your toes;
beneath your feet.
Feel the freedom.
Lay aside
the straps,
the cords,
the restrictions
that bind you;
that keep you
on the seemingly endless road
that you daily trudge
without enthusiasm;
without purpose;
without life.
Feel the earth;
feel the ground
beneath your feet.
It is holy.
It is where I am
therefore it is holy.
The whole earth
is mine.
The whole earth
Is where I am.
You cannot stand
anywhere
outside of Me;
outside of My love;
outside of My purpose
for you
and for the world.
Worship Me.
Bow down
and
worship Me
here,
now.
Let My love engulf you.
Let Me fill you.
Let My purpose become clear to you.
And then,
and only then,
put on your sandals
and go forth
with renewed energy;
with renewed vision;
with renewed purpose.
Go forth
in My love
to your home;
to your neighbours;
to your work;
to the world
and
I will go with you.
My desire
is that you
go forth
and tell others;
lead others;
show others
the way
to this
Holy Ground.

Walk only
in My footsteps.
Walk always
in My footsteps
and you will
walk always
on
Holy Ground.

© Kathleen Wilks

Trust Me

2008-02-06T11:39:00.000Z

My beloved child,
you do not have
to look for Me;
to search for Me;
to seek Me out.
I am right here.
Your vision is clouded.
Your mind is full
of fears;
of worries.
That is why you do not
see Me;
That is why you do not
hear Me.
It is not because
I have left you
or abandoned you.
I would never leave you;
never forsake you.
Dwell on this fact.
Dwell on it
until
you believe it;
until
you believe that
I love you.
I feel
your hurt;
your pain;
your confusion.
Learn to trust Me.
Learn to lean on Me
and
learn to pass all these thoughts;
all these feelings
over on to My shoulders.
They are strong enough
to bear them.
Do not add to your burdens
unnecessary things-
the ‘what ifs’;
the ‘maybes’.
Live each day
as it comes
and
do not worry
about tomorrow.
Tomorrow
is in My hands.
I give bread;
I give strength
for today;
for every ‘today’.
And so
I say again,
My beloved child,
learn to trust Me
for today.

c Kathleen Wilks

The Stormy Sea

2008-02-06T11:33:00.000Z

My child,
look up.

If you only
look down
at the stormy sea;
at the breaking waves;
at the foaming spray
then
you will never see
the hand;
My hand
held out to you
across the waters;
stretched out
in love;
there
for you to grasp;
to hold on to.
My hand
is ever there,
held out
to you.
It must be
your choice
whether or not
you take hold
but,
Ii you do,
it will so gladden
My heart.
I long for you
to trust Me more;
to reach out for Me more;
to hold on to Me
so that,
together,
we can walk
across the waters.

My child;
My children,
if you only
look down
at the stormy sea;
at the breaking waves;
at the foaming spray
then
you will never see
the vision
My vision
I have
for you.
And
where there is
no vision
the people perish.

So,
My child;
My children,
look up.
see My hand.
see My face.
see Me
and in that looking
you will gain
strength;
you will gain
knowledge;
you will gain
purpose.

Look up
and
take My hand.
I am so much bigger;
so much stronger;
so much more powerful
than the waters.

© Kathleen Wilks

Christmas

2007-12-09T10:07:00.000Z

God's Gift

2007-12-09T10:03:00.000Z

Elizabeth

2007-11-25T19:08:00.000Z

Of course
we knew about Sarah
and Hannah,
but that was a long time ago.
Things like that didn’t happen
today,
and anyway, not to people
like us.
Of course
we had taken advice,
some not entirely given
in love.
We had listened
to those seeking to help
and we had heard
in our hearts
the voices of those who were
critical,
scornful
,judgemental,
patronising,
hurtful.
I could go on.
But all that was in the past.
Now
we were old
and it mattered less.
Zechariah
was a good man,
a good husband
and we were happy.
We never spoke about it
anymore.
But,
in my heart,
it was still there,
and every so often,
it surfaced.

And, yes,
we had prayed,
fervent,
arguing,
pleading,
believing
prayers
but
nothing had happened.
God was silent,
and that, too,
hurt.
But,
I knew that He was there.
I knew that He had heard.
I knew that He knew best.
Still
it was hard.

Then,
one day,
something wonderful
happened,
that I,
we,
can’t explain.
Zechariah
came back
from the Temple
and he couldn’t speak.
He was so excited,
gesturing wildly.
Something about
a baby.
My heart leapt.
All the hidden longings
surfaced.
The years fell away.
A baby.
I wasn’t sure
what was going on,
but,
a baby…

Six months have passed.
Six wonderful months.
And now
I have heard
something
even more amazing
has happened.
Too amazing
to take in.
But,
when I saw her;
when I saw Mary,
I knew
that it was true.
And,
even more wonderful
if that can be,
so did
my baby.
I swear
that
he, too,
leapt
for joy.

© Kathleen Wilks

Joseph

2007-11-25T19:05:00.001Z

As soon as I saw him
he had my heart.
I was taken over
completely,
totally.
He was
so small.
so fragile,
so vulnerable.
I held him
in the palms of my hands
and I gazed at him.
Then, when he opened his eyes
and looked at me…
I know,
people will tell me
that he couldn’t really
see me
but
I think he could…
my heart just melted.
I’m not ashamed
to say
that I shed a tear.
I couldn’t move.
I daren’t move
in case
I dropped him,
hurt him,
injured him
in some way.
I was used to holding
wood,
turning it over in my hands,
feeling it,
caressing it.
It was beautiful
in its own way
but tough.
You could hammer nails
into wood,
but this,
this was a living being;
a baby,
and one totally dependent
on me

Then the spell broke.
There was so much
to do.
Mary
gave me instructions
and I followed them
but it was all
a blur.
I was
in a daze.
What a privilege
to be at this birth.
Of course,
it shouldn’t have been
like this.
I felt so guilty
putting Mary through this;
taking her on such
a journey
when she was expecting;
failing to find her somewhere
clean and comfortable
to spend the night.
And then this.
No-one to help her
with the birth
except me.
But I did my best.

And now
we had a son,
our first-born.
But,
and there was a big but,
this was not
my first-born.
This was not
my son.
This,
in some strange,
inexplicable
way,
was God’s Son.

I didn’t understand.
I had tried
but
I didn’t understand.
I didn’t doubt Mary.
I believed her story.
I believed in her.
I had even seen
an angel
myself
so I knew it was true.
But still,
I didn’t understand.

And yet,
when I looked
at this little bundle
of life
lying, sleeping
in Mary’s arms
I was overwhelmed
with love.
Such love.
whether he was
my son
or not
I could not
have loved him more.

And then
the magnitude
of all this
hit me.
God
had entrusted
me
with His Son,
His precious Son.
He had given
me
the responsibility,
the privilege
the joy
of loving,
protecting,
cherishing,
teaching,
raising to adulthood
His Son.

Would I be
equal
to the task?
Would I?
Could I do it?

But,
as I look at you,
Jesus,
my Jesus,
I will make you
this promise.
I will do my best,
my very best,
for you.

© Kathleen Wilks

The Shepherds

2007-11-25T18:59:00.000Z

It was so crowded in the town and so busy!
I’d never seen it this bad before
and for the first time in my life
I was glad
that I worked outside
on the hillside
where there was peace and quiet
and space to breathe.
Other nights I had longed to be down there
amongst the people,
warm and well-fed
instead of up here
alone and cold,
surrounded by sheep.
But not tonight.

I lay down and relaxed
looking at the distant lights
still burning in the town.
I must have drifted off to sleep
because I woke with a start.
Such noise!
I curled up as tightly as I could
and hid my head in my hands.
Was it thunder?
A pack of wild animals?
An army on the march?
‘The sheep’ I thought, ‘I need
to protect the sheep.’
So I opened my eyes
and I saw …..
The whole sky was ablaze.
Such brightness.
But I had to look.
And I had to listen.
Singing like I’d never heard before.
I don’t know how long I stayed there,
on my knees,
eyes wide,
mouth open,
but I know I heard a voice,
so clear,
telling me to go to Bethlehem
to see a child, a baby,
in a manger.
Then, just as suddenly,
the singing ceased,
the lights disappeared
and it was dark again.
But there was peace,
such peace,
like I’d never known before.
And I had to go.
I had to see.
As I turned and started down the hill
the other shepherds
joined me.
I didn’t ask because I knew
they too had seen and heard.
The whole world must have
seen and heard…..
But no.
In Bethlehem it was dark
and quiet.
People were asleep.
I couldn’t believe it.
How could they sleep?
How could they not have seen?
How could they not have heard?
But they hadn’t.
Too busy,
wrapped up
in their own little worlds may be.
We found the inn and
the stable.
I’m not sure how but we
had no difficulty.
And we went in,
just like that!
As if we’d been invited.
Well I suppose we had been really!
And we were welcomed too
as if it was the most normal thing
to happen.
And then we saw Him,
just as we’d been told.
So small.
So vulnerable.
So……wonderful

I had to tell you.

© Kathleen Wilks

The Magi

2007-11-25T18:56:00.000Z

We were so excited
when we first saw it.
A star;
a new star in the sky;
so visible
so bright
so magnetic.
We couldn’t stop
watching it,
and,
as we did
we knew;
we all knew,
individually
that
we had to follow it.
People thought we were mad
but
we had to do it.
We couldn’t rest.
We couldn’t sleep.
We had to go
because
something,
someone
out there
was going to be
worth all the effort;
worth all the trouble;
worth all the hardship.
So we went,
not knowing where;
not knowing for how long;
not even knowing if we would return.
Nothing mattered but to go.

It was a long journey
but we never lost
the excitement
of seeing the star
appear in front of us
every night,
leading us;
drawing us
on
closer to
whatever;
whoever
it was
we had to see.

We came to Jerusalem.
We thought we had arrived;
that this was it;
a palace;
the home of a new king
but
something was wrong;
something did not add up;
something inside us
was sounding warning bells.
This was
not what we had expected;
not what we had travelled so far
to find.
For the first time
we were
dismayed,
depressed,
deflated,
fearful even
that we had
wasted our time;
got it all wrong.
But then
we went outside
and
we saw the star again.
Hope revived.
Energy was restored.
Our journey began again.
Our spirits rose
even as the journey
seemed to take us
further from
‘the expected’;
further from
‘the normal’.
And we wondered
how
why
where
we could possibly see
a king?
Then the star seemed
to stop;
to hover
over one dwelling
and we knew
we had arrived;
we knew this was it.
With such eagerness;
such excitement;
such anticipation
we went in.

We saw Him.

No words;
no explanations
were needed.

We saw Him.

Our hearts
just exploded
with joy.
We fell to our knees
and
we worshipped Him.

© Kathleen Wilks

Simeon

2007-11-25T18:54:00.000Z

I’m old.
I admit it,
but I’m not past it
like some people will try to tell you.
They think I don’t know
what they are saying;
whispering
behind my back.
It used to hurt
but now
I ignore them.
Sometimes
I am tired of life.
Everything takes so much
longer.
Everything seems to be
harder.
But
these are only moments.
Life
is for living.
And there are still things
I want to do,
and see.

One thing in particular
I must see
before I die.
And I will see
because
God has promised.
And God always keeps
His promises.
that I know.
It could even be
today.
I have this feeling
inside
that I must go
to the Temple courts.
I know this feeling
I have felt it many times.
It’s when
God is speaking
to me.
So many times
He has done this
over the years.
So many times.

I must set out now.
It will take me a while
to get there.
I wish I could move quickly,
as I used to.
My mind tells me to
but my body won’t respond.
Never mind.
God will wait
until I arrive.

I’ve seen them!
The parents,
bringing Him!
I know this is the One.
He doesn’t look
any different
from all the other babies
but I know.
I will go over to them
and speak to them.
I will ask
if I can hold Him.
Oh, how I want
to hold Him;
this Child;
this precious gift
of God.

They have handed
Him
to me.
I can’t describe how I feel.
the privilege;
the honour;
the joy.
Thank you, Lord.

Now I have seen
Your salvation,
Your light,
Your glory.
And not only seen.
You have allowed me
to touch,
to hold,
to bless
Your Child.
I can’t know any joy
greater than this.
But
why Lord?
Why do I feel
a strange sadness?
A pain like a thorn in my head?
It can’t be my death
that is causing me this sadness.
I am ready to come to you.
No.
It is for this Child
Isn’t it, Lord?

They are so happy, Lord,
this little family.
How can I tell them?
How can I
warn her,
protect her,
shield her?

Lord, give me the right
words to say
to bless them.

© Kathleen Wilks

Anna

2007-11-25T18:50:00.000Z

I had always loved
children.
When I was young
I had dreamed of
having a family
of my own;
bringing them up
in my own house
with a loving husband
at my side.
It was to be perfect.
But
dreams
are only dreams.
They rarely come true.
And mine didn’t

Seven years
was all I was given.
Just seven years
and then it was taken away
from me.
Not that I haven’t been
happy since.
I am happy.
I am content.
I am very blessed.

God has shown me
many wonderful things
that I never would have known
if I had remained
in my ‘dream’ world.
God has told me
many wonderful things
that I have been able
to pass on to other people.
In fact
God has given me
so much
that I can’t begin
to thank Him enough

Only,
once in a while,
when I saw
parents bringing
their new baby
to be presented
I looked back
at what might have been.
I say ‘looked’ back
because I will look back
no more.

I’ll tell you why.
Today
I saw the Child.
The one who has come
to redeem Jerusalem.
He looked just like all the others
as His parents brought Him in.
But God told me different.
He told me
to go
and see.
And I did.

Thanks be to God.
Such a privilege
that God
should share this moment
with me.
I feel so humble.
How could I ever
have imagined
that anything in my ‘dream’ world
could compare
with this moment.

I have seen Him.

© Kathleen Wilks

At the Well

2007-11-13T19:42:00.000Z

I have come
to meet with You
at the well.
And
You
ask me,
me, Lord,
for a drink.

I cannot respond
for I have
nothing
to offer You;
nothing
except myself.
But
in that admission
there is
no condemnation
in Your eyes
as You look
at me;
as You smile
at me
and hold out
Your hands
for me
to take.

If your hands
had been full,
You say,
I could not have
grasped you;
held you;
offered Myself
to you.
But now
I can give
you
all that I long
for you to have;
for you to share
with Me.

I can give
you
Myself.
I am
Living Water.
Enough
to quench your thirst.
Enough
and more,
so that
when you leave
this place;
when you turn
to face the world again
you will have
Water.
You will have enough
of the Living Water
for you to be able
to offer it
to those
who come
to you;
to those
who ask
you
for a drink.

c Kathleen Wilks

Living Water

2007-11-13T19:38:00.000Z

Yes
I do know
your deepest desires.
I have heard
your prayers.
But
do not look for Me
in the spectacular.
I am not there.
I do not stand on the pinnacle
of the Temple.
Rather
I am waiting
quietly,
alone
at the well
in the desert.
Waiting for you
to come
to Me
as part of
your daily work;
your daily routine.

And
I can,
and
I will
transform
that daily work;
that daily routine
quietly,
gently,
lovingly.
I have
the living water
you crave;
the living water
that will
renew you;
refresh you;
revitalise you.

I am
the Living Water.
Drink
of Me
and quench your thirst,
daily,
hourly.

This well
will never run dry.
There will never
be a time
when this water
is not there;
when
I am not there
when you come.

c Kathleen Wilks

The Creed

2007-11-13T19:20:00.000Z

Do you believe
that I am
the Father.
that I am
the Creator;
that
I created
the Universe,
the planets and stars;
the earth, the land, the sea,
the animals, the birds,
the people,
and you?
Do you?
Do you really believe?

Do you believe
that
Jesus is
My Son,
and that
He came
to the earth
to die
and to rise again;
to die
for the sins of the world;
for the sins of all people;
for the sins of each person;
for you?
Do you?
Do you really believe?

Do you believe
that
I have sent
the Holy Spirit,
My Spirit,
into the world;
into the hearts
of all who trust in Me;
of each one who trusts in Me;
of you,
if you trust in Me;
if you can truly say
that
you believe?
Do you?
Do you really believe?

What a difference
there would be;
there could be
for the world,
for the nation,
for the people round you,
for you,
if
you really believed,
if
you really knew
that
I love you
this much.

So
I ask you
as your Father;
as your Creator;
as your Sustainer;
as your Lover,
Do you believe?

(Yes Lord, I believe)

c Kathleen Wilks

My Invitation

2007-11-13T19:12:00.000Z

The meal is prepared.
Everything is ready and I am waiting;
waiting for you
to come,
to accept My invitation.
It would gladden My heart
if you were to join Me.
It grieves Me when
My children do not respond
to my invitation;
when they do not come
to share with Me
all that I have prepared.

I stand at the door
to welcome you,
but some of you
do not see Me there
and this, too, saddens Me.
I am there to receive
the burdens you bring with you.
I hold out My hands
to take them from you.
Give them to Me
and I will hold them for you.
I will take them
and leave you free of them,
for you cannot receive
any of My gifts
if your hands and hearts
are full.

Surrender to Me also
your selves.
I have water ready
to wash you.
Living water
to cleanse and revive you.
You must allow Me do this.
I will not force you,
but I long to minister to you.
You have come to My house,
at My invitation.
You are My guest
and I would treat you well.

As we share
this time together
do not be distracted.
Do not concern yourselves
with what I have done
with your burdens;
the ones you gave to Me
as you entered.
They are in My keeping now.
Do not try to search for them.
I see it in your eyes
when you come to receive
the bread and wine
at My table.
They are searching.
They are not looking at Me.
How can I give you
the gifts I have prepared
for you,
for this meeting with you,
if you will not look
at Me?

Yes,
I have prepared
gifts for you;
for each one of you.
Different gifts
prepared and given
in love;
love for you.

Do not look
at another’s gifts
with longing,
or envy,
for in that way you may lose your own.
Look rather at what I give you.
The more you look,
the more you will know
of My love
for you.

So,
come with thanksgiving.
Eat and drink
of Me,
with Me
and go on your way
rejoicing;
rejoicing
because
I love you.

c Kathleen Wilks

My Disciples

2007-11-13T19:04:00.000Z

I came to your church.
I stood at the front
and I looked for you
but you were not there.
You knew that I was to come
and you stayed away.
Was it through fear?
Were you afraid of what
I might do; might say?
Were you afraid of being noticed
or rather
of not being noticed;
afraid that I would not see you;
that others would take precedence
over you;
that you would be counted
unworthy?
My child, My precious child,
I was grieved that you were not there.
The gathering was incomplete
without you.
I missed you.

I have returned
unexpectedly,
unannounced.
I have come again
to ask for disciples;
people who will follow Me,
serve Me, love Me
in this place;
in this city.
I ask for such people to come to Me
I ask
and I look for you
but you do not come.
Is it through fear?
Are you afraid of what
I might ask you to do; to say?
Are you afraid of what
others might think?
Are you afraid
that I will reject you?
Do you still not know
how much you are loved;
how much I want you with Me;
walking with Me;
talking with Me;
working with Me?
I know the plans I have for you
and they are plans to prosper you,
not to harm you;
plans to give you hope
and a future;
plans that I want to share
with you.

I will come again.
And this time,
when I come
I will name those
whom I will call.
Do not be afraid of hearing Me
call your name.
I long for those who hear My call
to come.
I long for you
to come
freely,
willingly,
joyfully.
And then I too
will rejoice

So, when you hear Me,
do not be afraid
for I am with you.
Look up at Me.
Look into My eyes.
See how much you are loved.
And come.

c Kathleen Wilks

Up the Mountain

2007-10-28T14:36:00.000Z

Come with Me
up the mountain.
It is a request I make
only of My closest friends.
Walk up the mountain
with Me
side by side
to the very top.
And,
when we are there
the only thing
I ask of you
is that you
stay silent;
stay still.
Watch and listen.
Watch and listen
and
you will feel;
you will know
the closeness
of My Father’s presence.

Down in the valley
so many other things
block out
this feeling.
You are troubled and anxious
about many things
but only one thing
matters:
that you know
how much
you are loved;
that you feel
this love
surrounding you;
enveloping you;
empowering you
in your daily living.

Remember too
that it does not always
have to be Me
who invites you.
I want;
I long for
your invitation
to Me
to come with you
up the mountain.
It gladdens My heart
to receive
such invitations
from My children;
from those
whom I know
as friends.

It is not always
an easy journey
to the top.
The way
is sometimes difficult;
dangerous,
but
the rewards
are so great
that it is worth
the struggle.

My child;
My friend
come with Me
now.

c Kathleen Wilks

The Special Place

2007-10-28T14:29:00.000Z

Come aside again
to your special place.
It is a long time
since you came here
and
I have been waiting for you,
watching for you,
watching you struggle,
thinking you were on your own
when,
all the time,
I was here,
waiting for you
to come to Me
for rest,
for help,
for comfort.
You know now
that I can help,
that, in Me,
you can find
rest,
and hope,
and, above all,
the love
you seek.

Bring all your burdens
and lay them down
at My feet
before you come and sit
with Me.
Do not unpack them.
Leave them where they are.
I know what it in
each bundle,
large or small.
I know,
and I will deal
with each one
in My own time,
in My own way.
Leave them
and trust Me.

Come and sit by Me,
free of anything
that would hinder you
from seeing Me;
from hearing Me;
from receiving from Me.
Sit here,
rest,
and I will renew your strength.
Enjoy this time apart
with Me.
I have waited
for you to come
and
I am not about to leave.
I have no other plans
but to be with you now.
I have all the time in the world
for you,
My precious one.

c Kathleen Wilks

Into the desert

2007-10-28T14:24:00.000Z

I call you into the desert
because I love you.
You are not sent here
as a punishment.
You are not here
by accident.
I have not turned My back
on you.
Never, never think that.
No,
I have called you here,
away from worldly distractions,
even worldly help,
so that you will learn
to call on Me;
to lean on Me,
and in this way,
to know Me better;
to draw closer to Me.

I called My children
out of Egypt
into the desert.
At first they rejoiced.
I led them with fire and cloud,
and they followed Me.
My child,
look for Me in your desert,
maybe in the unexpected,
and you will find Me.

I was leading My children
to a Promised Land;
a land full of goodness and plenty,
and yet
some turned their eyes away
from Me
and looked back.
My child,
do not look back:
rather
look forward in faith;
in eager anticipation.
The Promised Land is there.
Look to Me.
Lean on Me.
And the more you do
the less you will doubt.

I even called My Son
into the desert.
I called Him there
because of love.
And
if He needed this time apart
how much more do you.
Oh, My child,
do you not see
that I want you to know Me better.
I want you to see Me clearer.
I want you to hear Me speaking to you.
I want you to walk with Me
more closely.
And,
when you can see this,
then you will understand
why I have led you here
into the desert.

c Kathleen Wilks

God's Embrace

2007-10-28T14:17:00.000Z

My dear child,
I have always held you
in My arms
like this.
And now
you know that it is true.
I rejoice at this knowledge.

I rejoice when My children
know My love for them.
So often I long for them
to know;
to know that they are held
in My embrace.
They struggle
as if they had to face their struggles
alone.
But
this is so far from the truth.
I am Love.
And I am there
to comfort;
to help;
to protect;
to guide;
today,
tomorrow
and for ever.

And when the time comes
I will be there
to welcome you home.
I have prepared a place
for you.
And
I long to see
and to share
in your delight
when you see it,
for it is prepared
just for you.
It will be all you desire.

So
do not fear the future;
do not be afraid.
How can you fear
when you are held
in My embrace;
held
so gently
and yet
so tightly.

And
I will never let you go.

c Kathleen Wilks

In Jerusalem

2007-08-19T15:11:00.000Z

I thought
I had seen them all.
Over the years they had come;
the timid,
the frightened,
the arrogant,
the pious,
the good
and the bad.
Yes
I thought
I had seen them all.
Boys
entering the adult world,
some ready,
most not,
But this one,
was different.
This one
didn’t fit
into any category.
He was
full of questions,
like all boys
but these were
deep,
searching,
penetrating
questions.
And my usual
easy,
glib,
factual
answers
were not enough.
He was asking
me;
questioning
me
and suddenly
it was
personal,
profound.
I had to search
deep within myself
for the answers.
And when they came
he listened
so intently,
and he looked at me
so intensely
that he seemed to be looking
right inside me;
right into my soul.
And after I had spoken
there was
a pause;
a silence
as if he was taking it all in;
weighing up the truth.
And then
he nodded.
And my heart
just exploded
with joy;
a joy
I had never experienced before.
I felt that
I was the pupil
and he the teacher,
and that
I had passed
the test;
what test I did not know,
but, like a child,
I was so pleased
that I had got it right.

This was so unlike
anything
I had experienced before,
and time
seemed to stand still.
There was so much
to talk about;
a mutual sharing
of thoughts,
of ideas.
Sometimes
I was the teacher,
sometimes
the pupil,
but it didn’t matter.
He was opening my eyes
to truths
I had never known existed.
It was
exhilarating,
illuminating,
personal,
like a journey
into another world
that we were taking
together.

For three days
we went on this journey
together;
three mind-stretching days.
but in the silences
I did begin to wonder
about this boy.
Who was he?
Where had he come from?
Why was he still here?

And then,
like a whirlwind
destroying
the peace
and calm
of this ‘other world’,
two people entered;
distraught,
dishevelled,
despairing.
His parents
looking for a lost son.
But,
watching the scene
it seemed more
that they were
the ‘lost’ ones.
He,
the boy,
was calm,
authoritative,
in control of the situation.
He seemed
genuinely surprised
that they had been
searching for him.
‘ Did they not expect him
to be
in his father’s house?’
They seemed to understand this
but I was confused.
If this man
standing in front of me
was not his father
then who was?
And where was his house?

They have left now,
together,
and the place seems
strangely empty,
silent,
dark,
as if
a light
has gone out.

I must find out more
about this boy.
Perhaps
I should start with
his father.
I would really like
to meet him.

© Kathleen Wilks

Nathanael

2007-08-19T15:01:00.000Z

How did He know?
How could He know?
And yet
I believed Him.
I believed Him
when He said
He had seen me,
sitting there,
under the fig tree.
He wasn’t making it up.
He wasn’t guessing.
He wouldn’t lie.
He couldn’t lie,
You could see it
in His eyes.
Such eyes.
When they looked at you
they saw
not just the ‘you’
that everyone else saw,
but
the real ‘you’.
It was unnerving.
But
it was exciting.
And I knew,
at that moment
I knew
that Philip was right.
We had found
the One Moses wrote about;
the One the Prophets wrote about.
And His name was
Jesus.
Jesus of Nazareth.
I had had my doubts
about going with Philip
when he had said
that this man,
the man he thought was
the One we were expecting,
came from Nazareth.
I had been scornful,
and I was ashamed.
How could I have been
so critical,
so quick to judge,
so wrong?
I could have missed out;
missed out
on the most exciting thing
to happen to me;
the most exciting moment of my life,
so far.
I say,
so far,
because,
now that I have met
this Jesus
everything has changed.
My world has changed.
I have changed.
And I don’t think
I will ever
be the same
again.

I have met
the Son of God.

© Kathleen Wilks

At the Wedding

2007-08-19T14:52:00.000Z

I knew.
When my son walked into the room
at the wedding feast
with his new followers,
I knew.
I had always wondered
when it would happen,
and how I would feel when it did.
But I had never doubted
that it would happen.
From the first moment I held him,
and even before that
I knew
that he was different;
that he had special work to do.
He had confirmed it himself
when he was a boy,
in the Temple.
But as time went by
I couldn’t help but wonder
when…..

We were all having such
a good time.
Everyone was happy,
not a care in the world.
And then,
disaster.
The wine ran out
and I realised, in that moment,
how fickle our joy was,
and that the only one
who could do something about it was
Jesus,
my Jesus.
I didn’t know what he could do,
or how he could do it,
but I knew
that he could make a difference.
So I told him the problem
and left it to him.
He asked me why I had
involved him.
I don’t know why.
It just seemed
the obvious solution.
And I was right.

The new wine tasted
so good,
so sweet.
The party carried on with
new life.
But in that instant,
as I drank,
I knew.
My Jesus was no longer
mine alone.
He had begun
what he had come to do.
And, just for a second,
a stab of pain
pierced my heart.

© Kathleen Wilks

Walking on Water

2007-08-19T14:47:00.000Z

It was dark.
It was windy
and we were confused
and tired.
We had just witnessed
something tremendous;
many, many people fed
from just two loaves
and some fish.
We didn’t understand it
and we were hoping the Master
would explain it to us.
But He wasn’t there.
He hadn’t come with us
in the boat,
so we were alone
with our unanswered questions
and our fears.
He often did this,
went off by Himself
to pray.
I know He needed to do this
but it would have been nice
if He’d been with us
this night,
to talk with us;
to answer our questions;
just to be there.
It was always better
when He was there.
He had this calmness about Him.
We could have done
with that
as the wind grew stronger
and it seemed to get darker
and darker.
Maybe, as I say, we were just
over-tired but
we were all jumpy.
So it didn’t help when
someone called out,
‘There’s a ghost!’
We froze.
But before real panic set in
we heard the Master’s voice.
You have no idea
how good it sounded.
Like I said before
He had a calmness about Him
and as soon as we heard Him
we knew everything would be
all right.

As we moved to make space
for Him
in the boat,
Peter suddenly stood up.
Well, you know Peter,
never predictable.
We wondered what he was going
to do.
After all, it’s not the best thing to do
to stand up in a boat
in the middle
of a storm.
Then he called out that he wanted
to go
to the Master!
To go to Him
Out of the boat,
across the waves, and they were high,
in the dark,
in a storm!
How stupid can you get.
Anyway,
instead of telling him to stay put
the Master said, ‘Come!’ ‘Come!’
And he did!
As we sat there, struggling to keep
control of the boat
and watching, open-mouthed,
Peter got out
and
walked on the water
to the Master.
Well a few steps anyway.
Then he seemed
to start
to sink,
and the Master took his hand
until they were both safely
in the boat.
And the wind died down.
Amazing.
The whole thing.
Amazing.
I know I thought Peter
was stupid
but
I wish,
I wish I’d had the courage
to do that.
What an experience.
I bet he never forgets it.
Amazing.

© Kathleen Wilks

The Transfiguration

2007-08-19T14:38:00.001Z

At last
we had Jesus to ourselves,
probably for a whole day.
He had said
He would take us away
by ourselves
and here we were,
half way up the mountain;
space to breathe;
time to talk;
and did we want to talk!
So many questions
were racing through our minds.
Who…
What…
When…
Recently we had had
such strange conversations.
Jesus had asked us
who people thought He was.
Elijah.
Jeremiah.
John the Baptist.
Then Peter had said,
“You are the Christ!”
Wow!
I mean…
Well…
It sounded frightening
when you actually said it.
After that
Jesus had talked
about being killed.
It didn’t make sense,
but only Peter
spoke up to challenge Jesus.
And he got told off for it.
But it got worse.
Jesus began to talk about
taking up a cross.
Surely He couldn’t
really mean it.
Not a cross.
Then,
when we were totally confused,
He said
some of us would not die
before we saw
the Kingdom of God come.
Well, I ask you,
wouldn’t you have had
questions!

So this was our chance,
but where should we start?

All too soon we had reached the top
of the mountain.
Jesus
was ahead of us
and
as we watched
something
absolutely
amazing
happened.
He shone!
I know it sounds silly
but I can’t think of any other words
to describe it.
And you certainly won’t believe
what happened next.
There
with Jesus
were Moses
and Elijah.
We just stood there
speechless.
Well, we did,
but Peter,
who was never lost for words,
started babbling
about building
shelters.
What for I can’t imagine
and I don’t suppose he could either.

He had hardly finished speaking
when
the sky became darker
and cloud
enveloped us.
You would imagine
that we couldn’t have got
more afraid,
but you would be wrong.
A voice
came to us
from the cloud
so clear,
“This is My Son, whom I love.
Listen to Him.”

Then it was gone,
and everything was as before.
Well, not everything.
Around us
things looked the same.
Jesus
looked the same.
But what about us?
Talk about mind-blowing…

As we came down the mountain
the numbness
wore off
and our minds
began to function again.
As we thought about
what we had just witnessed
the questions came
thick and fast.
Who is this Man?
Why can’t we tell anyone?
What does He mean – raised from the dead?
When will He explain it all?…

We will listen to Him
and, maybe,
some day,
we will understand.

© Kathleen Wilks

Zacchaeus

2007-08-19T14:32:00.000Z

We had finally reached
Jericho.
The journey had taken so much
longer than we expected
as we kept being stopped
along the way.
And what a sight it was.
It was packed
with people,
everywhere you looked.
Would you believe
they were even up
in the trees!
And the noise!
And the shouting!
It was tremendous.
We pushed our way slowly
through the crowds
until suddenly
Jesus stopped
and looked up.
So we all looked up.
I couldn’t see anything different;
just a tree
with someone sitting
on one of the branches.
I pushed closer and then
I saw
who it was.
It was Zacchaeus,
the tax collector.
At first
I was amused
‘This is something to tell them
back home,’ I thought.
‘Next time he comes collecting money
I bet people remember this;
Zacchaeus, up a tree!’
Maybe he’ll fall out and land
at our feet.
That would be even better,
to be able to look down
on him.
He wouldn’t be so pompous then.
But no.
I shouldn’t think like that
Jesus doesn’t like it.
I suppose he has every right
to watch like the rest of them.
But why has
Jesus stopped?
He must know who Zacchaeus is.
If not someone should tell Him,
and quickly,
before He puts His foot in it.
Then I heard
Jesus speak.
‘He’ll tell him off’, I thought,
‘And in public too. Good.’
But no.
Jesus spoke to him in a really
gentle, caring way and asked
to go to his house.
I was angry then.
Of all the people he could have asked,
Zacchaeus!
Well he was pleased;
why wouldn’t he be,
singled out for such
an honour.
He had probably planned it all.
So we all trouped off
to Zacchaeus’ house,
and the most annoying
thing happened.
Zacchaeus seemed to become
a different person
right before our eyes.
Not physically;
he was still the same outwardly,
but he changed.
Even I have to admit it.
He became generous,
kind hearted,
good, even…
Jesus then said something odd.
He said He had come
to save
what was lost.
But yes,
that summed it up perfectly.
Zacchaeus had been lost.
I hate owning up to being wrong
but I have to admit it.
Jesus knew what He was doing
when He stopped under
that particular tree.

© Kathleen Wilks

The Triumphant Entry

2007-08-19T14:18:00.000Z

It was just amazing;
the noise;
the shouting;
the excitement.
I have to admit that
we were rather
afraid;
subdued;
apprehensive
to begin with.
Well, it was only natural
wasn’t it.
Jesus
had been going on about
all sorts of horrible things
that were going to happen
in Jerusalem;
mocking;
insults;
flogging,
even killing.

I think He really meant it.
And we had believed it too,
after a fashion.
Well you had to
with Jesus.
If there was one thing we had learnt
about Him,
He told the truth.
But this ….
I mean,
this was just too much.
After all
who would want to
mock Him,
never mind kill Him?
And why for heavens sake?
The things he told us
were just out of this world.
Surely no-one could object,
not to that extent anyway.

But, let me get back
to what I was telling you.
We were all a bit down really
so I was glad of the excuse
to get away from the rest
and go and find
this donkey
that Jesus said was
waiting to be collected.
It certainly took our minds off
the dark predictions
of what was to be.
We didn’t ask Jesus
any questions.
Well you just didn’t ask
sometimes.
But our minds were full of them.
Why did He want to ride?
We’d always walked before
so what was
so special this time?
And why a donkey?
And how did He manage
to arrange for this one
to be just where He said?
And who was the man
who just let us take it?
We resolved between us
that we would ask
as soon as we returned.
Well one of us would …
Well … maybe.

But when we did return
the excitement
just overwhelmed us
and we joined in
with gusto,
throwing our cloaks
over its back
and helping Jesus
to mount.
Someone
laid their cloak out
on the ground
in front of the donkey
and this caught on.
Everyone began
to spread their cloaks
on the road
and those without cloaks
began to cut palm branches
to spread instead,
or just to wave.
The noise
just got louder
and louder.
Hosanna!
Blessed is He!
Hosanna!
It went on and on
until we were all hoarse
with shouting.
We were so happy;
so excited.
This was going to be
the best
Passover
ever.
And now everyone knew
about Jesus.
Everyone liked
Him.
What an opportunity.
Surely this
was going to be
the start
of something
so tremendous,
so earth-shattering,
so mind-blowing
that things just
wouldn’t be the same
again.

‘and the Son of Man
will be betrayed…’

Suddenly,
amidst all the shouting
I heard His words
in my head.
as clearly
as when He had said them
before.

But,
He must have got it wrong
Surely
He had made a mistake
this time.

He just had to be wrong.

© Kathleen Wilks

Cleansing the Temple

2007-08-19T14:09:00.000Z

It was all going
so horribly wrong.
We had had
such high hopes
when we first entered
Jerusalem.
All the shouting;
the praising;
the adulation.
Surely,
we had thought,
this was
His chance;
His time.
He had spoken so often
about going to
Jerusalem.
That had been
His goal
for so long
But it wasn’t working out
as we had expected.
If only
He hadn’t gone
to the Temple
that day.
If only
He hadn’t
got angry.

Yes,
I did say angry.
Surprise you, does it?
He didn’t often
get angry.
Well, never, really;
not like
losing his temper,
ranting and raving.
Certain things upset Him.
‘Righteous anger’
I suppose you could call it.
But this seemed to be
different.

We had been
quite excited
when He said
we were going to
the Temple
that day.
‘This is it,’ we thought,
‘the start.’
I don’t think
we were very clear on
what it was the start of
but it was going
to be good.
His time had come.
He had told us that much.
So we went,
anticipating fireworks.
And we certainly got them,
but not the way
we expected.

As soon as we entered
the Temple
He became
like a man possessed;
overturning the tables
of the money-changers;
overturning the benches
of the dove sellers;
driving out the buyers,
refusing admittance
to anyone with merchandise.
There was chaos;
money,
animals,
birds,
furniture,
everywhere.
And people
rushing about;
pushing,
shoving,
scrabbling on the floor.
Like I said,
chaos.
Any other time
I would have
enjoyed it;
laughed at it;
made it a talking point
with all my friends.
But today,
all I wanted
was to creep away
unseen;
to pretend I wasn’t
with Him.
I couldn’t understand it.
Why now
when it was all going
so well?

And then
He started shouting.
Perhaps we could still have
got away with it
but
any hope
of salvaging the situation
disappeared
when he called
the Temple
a den of robbers.
That was it.
The chief priests
had been summoned
by this time
and they heard Him..
I saw their faces.
Fury
just didn’t cover it.
Hatred
was nearer the mark.
To tell you the truth
it made my blood
run cold.

Maybe
this Passover
was not going to be good
after all.

© Kathleen Wilks

On the Way to Gethsemane

2007-08-19T13:54:00.000Z

To be honest
our hearts
weren’t in it.
Normally
we sang with gusto,
not always tunefully
yet we meant every word.
But not tonight.
I think all of us
felt the same.
We just wanted
to leave
that upper room
and get out
into the cool air,
back to
the Mount of Olives
to be alone with our thoughts.
Our minds
were in turmoil;
so much had been said;
so much had been done;
and none of it made sense.
I know Jesus
was trying
to tell us;
to warn us;
to prepare us
for something momentous;
something life-changing.
But
all I heard was that
He was going;
He was going away;
He was leaving;
and I was
confused;
bewildered;
perplexed
and above all
sad.
He was my best friend,
and He was leaving.
I had shared
so much with Him.
I thought
I knew Him so well now.
I thought
I could read His moods.
But not tonight.
Tonight
He was withdrawn.
He had
sat with us;
eaten with us;
shared with us;
but yet
part of Him was elsewhere;
part of Him had already moved on.
I didn’t understand
where He was going.
He seemed set on
this journey
and yet
I don’t know if
He really wanted to go.
And if
He didn’t want to go
then why
was He doing this?
Why
was He leaving
and what was I going to do
without Him?
I couldn’t imagine life
without Him.
I’d only really known Him
a few years
but
what a tremendous
few years
they had been.
And now
it was all to end.
Why?

I walked along
in sadness,
only half listening
to the conversation.
Then
I heard Jesus say,
“You will all fall away.”
My heart stopped.
How could He think that?
It was bad enough
that He was leaving us
but that He thought
we would desert Him!
How could He,
my best friend,
think I would
desert Him?
How could He
think any of us would
desert Him?
He was our life;
our reason for living;
the One for whom
we had given up everything.
Peter
voiced his feelings
and swore that He
wouldn’t desert Him,
even if we did.
That hurt too,
that he could think
us,
me,
capable of desertion.
Oh,
why was all this happening?
When would it all end?
When could we get back
to normality,
if you could call
the last few years
normal?
If Jesus
was right
and something awful
was going to happen
then we needed
to stick together;
to be there for each other;
and most of all
we needed
Jesus
to tell us
what to do.
But
He was leaving us.
In some ways
He had already left us.
He had said
goodbye.

Why?

© Kathleen Wilks

Jesus' Arrest

2007-08-17T19:21:00.000Z

‘Orders is orders’,
so they say.
And how right
they are.
Orders
are there
to be obeyed,
instantly,
unquestioningly,
fully,
or else.
At least
our Commanding Officer
thinks so.
Any hesitation;
any look of defiance;
any raised eyebrow;
and you’d had it:
painfully,
irrevocably sometimes.
Punishment
came swift and sure.
So,
when we were told
to go
to the Garden of Gethsemane
and arrest
Jesus of Nazareth
off we went
straight away,
unquestioningly.
Well,
when I say unquestioningly,
that was
in front of the C.O.
We had plenty
of questions,
and grumbles
about such a mission.
Why did we have to go
at night
when it was
dark and cold?
We could have been
sitting round a blazing fire
telling stories and jokes;
eating,
drinking,
sleeping,
instead of here.
And,
why Jesus of Nazareth?
What had he done
apart from
cause mayhem
in the Temple
that day.
That had been fun
to watch.
We’d been rather short
on excitement
recently.
I’d heard talk
of some extraordinary things
he was said
to have done,
miracles
people called them.
Personally
I was secretly
looking forward
to seeing him up close;
seeing if he really was
special.

We were being led
by a man called
Judas,
one of his friends
I heard tell.
With friends like that
who needs enemies,
so they say.

He seemed to know
exactly where to go
because
there was no messing about;
no dilly dallying.
Straight there
we went.
Nothing subtle.

They must have heard us
coming
but when we arrived
he was just standing there
waiting for us.
I ask you.
If he was that much
in tune with God
then surely
he would have been warned;
would have been long gone.
But no.
There he was
waiting
calmly.

I knew it was him.
I don’t know how,
but I knew,
even before this
Judas fellow
went up to him
and kissed him.

I didn’t like that.
No,
I really didn’t like that.
Well,
you should stick by
your friends
through thick and thin
shouldn’t you.
I mean,
where would we be
if we all went round
betraying
other people,
and
especially
friends.
I can take most things.
In my line of work
you have to,
but I didn’t like that.

No.
This is getting dangerous.
To have sympathy
for a prisoner
is not right;
not safe.
I mustn’t let it show
or I’ll be for the high jump.
But
there is something
special
about him.
It’s like
he’s in charge.

My C.O. won’t like that.
I think
this Jesus of Nazareth
is in for a rough ride.

© Kathleen Wilks

Peter's Denial

2007-08-17T19:08:00.000Z

It stands out a mile.
He is
one of them.
I knew
as soon as I set eyes
on him.
Thought they were
above
the rest of us;
went around,
‘doing good’;
claimed they had given up
everything
to follow their leader.
Spongers more like.
Relying on others
rather than soiling their hands.
Good down to earth jobs
now beneath them;
fishing,
carpentry,
and I heard
one of them was
a tax collector
I ask you.
Anyway
much good it had done them.
I saw
their leader
dragged in
a little while ago.
Going the way
of all self-proclaimed
saviours,
no doubt.
Didn’t even look
like a fighter.
Not like
old Barabbas.
Wow there was
a man
you could follow.
He had guts.
Shame
he had got
caught..
Weak
that’s what
this man was.
Being led
like a lamb
to the slaughter.
No fight;
no resistance;
no charisma.
Not surprising
his ‘loyal’ band
had deserted him.
All but
this specimen
sidling up to the fire,
thinking we don’t know
who he is.
Someone will
challenge him soon,
no doubt.
I’m going to keep my eye
on him.
It could get interesting.

What language!
Quite impressive really
and it was only someone
stating the obvious.
Like I said
everyone could see
he was
a Galilean.
I didn’t think
they were supposed
to swear like that.
I bet
he wouldn’t have dared
if his leader
could have seen him…

It’s no good.
I have to leave;
to get out of here.
Suddenly
I can’t stand
all the shouting;
all the insults;
all the mocking.
It’s making me feel
uneasy.

No,
to tell you the truth,
and I wouldn’t admit this
to anyone else,
I feel
uncomfortable,
unclean,
ashamed.
Yes, ashamed
of what I did;
of what I said;
of what I thought.
I need to get away;
to be alone;
to think about this.

What has happened?
You may well ask.
I was fine.
I was enjoying it all
and then
I saw
the look
the prisoner gave
his, so called,
friend.

© Kathleen Wilks

Thomas

2007-08-17T18:37:00.000Z

He’s alive.
He’s alive.
We have seen Him.
We have spoken to Him.
He has spoken to us.
He has come back
from the dead.
He is risen.
He is alive.

That’s all
they talked about.
The whole topic
of their conversation
for days now.
They all
believed it.
Well they would,
wouldn’t they.
They have seen Him;
spoken to Him.
But
I haven’t.

I am trying
to believe it.
I would like
to believe it.
But
its all
so fanciful;
so amazing.
Too amazing.
It can’t be true,
not really,
can it?

I wasn’t with them
when He came.
At least
when they say
He came.
Was it Him?
Was it really Him?

I’m sorry
I was missing
that evening.
But
He must have known
I wasn’t there.
So,
if it really was Him
why
doesn’t He come
to me?
He met with
Mary.
He walked with
Cleopas;
talked with him
for a long time,
so they tell me.
So
why won’t He talk
to me?
Have I done something
wrong?

The others
seem so much happier;
seem to have a purpose;
a life again.
So something
must have happened.
I want to believe it.
I really do.

Just suppose
that they are right;
that they have
seen Him;
spoken with Him.
Just suppose
that He is alive.
It’s mind-blowing.
It changes everything.

I want to know.
More than anything
I want to know.
I need to know.
I can’t go on
with this
doubt.
I want to see you
Lord
I want to hear you.
And,
most of all
I want to touch you
to prove
to myself
that this is real;
that You are real.

Lord,
if you are there
then please
answer me….

He is alive!!

© Kathleen Wilks

The Catch of Fish

2007-08-15T19:23:00.000Z

It was
a strange time.
A sort of
nothing time.
All in the space of
a few days
Jesus
had been taken
from us,
had come back
to us,
and now
seemed to have gone again.
He was around
somewhere
but what mattered
was that
He wasn’t with us.
We were
leaderless,
lost,
and I didn’t like it.
I liked to know
where I was going;
what I was going to do.
I liked purpose,
action,
not all this
‘nothingness’.
So,
I decided to go fishing.
It was what I did best.
I was comfortable
with boats,
and nets,
and fish.
I knew where I stood.
I was in charge;
in charge
of my own destiny
again.
But
it wasn’t the same.
I,
we,
went through the motions.
We took the right actions,
but
something was missing.
Maybe
our hearts weren’t in it.

By morning
I was tired;
fed up;
disillusioned.
As we sailed the boats
back to the shore
it hit me;
hit me so hard
that it was like a physical blow.
I remembered
as clearly as if
it had been yesterday,
the last time
I had been in this position;
the last time
I had fished all night
and caught nothing.
And what had happened?
Jesus
had got into the boat and everything
had changed.
We had caught
so many fish
that we had needed help
to bring them in.
Jesus,
He was the One
who made
all the difference.
With Him
we could do anything.
Without Him
we,
I,
was lost.

Someone
was calling
from the shore
telling us
to try again;
encouraging us
not to give up;
giving us
orders.
A few years ago
I would have argued
but now…

I think
I knew.
Even before
John said it,
I knew.
Who else
could it be?

I must
climb out
of the boat.

I must
go
to Him.

© Kathleen Wilks

Peter

2007-08-15T19:16:00.000Z

He called me
Simon, son of John,
and instantly
my mind went back
to the day
three or so years ago
when the very same thing
had happened,
and
He had called me
Simon, son of John.
So much had happened
in those few years;
so many
exciting,
inexplicable,
frightening,
glorious
things.
Things;
times
I would not have missed
for the world.
But
they were over.
Life had to go on.
A living had to be earned.
The ‘Peter’
of those years
was no more.
I had thought
I could live up
to the name;
thought
I was invincible.
I liked the idea
of being
‘a rock’,
solid,
dependable.
I had imagined
myself
taking the lead;
being the man
to solve any problems;
to sort out any crises,
but what had I done?...
Run away,
and worse…
I had denied Him.
I had failed.
The dream;
the new beginning
was over.
I was back to being
Simon, son of John.
Simon, the fisherman.
It was better that way…

But,
He was here.
He was with me
and
that feeling;
that fire;
that excitement;
that life
stirred again
in my heart.
and
I knew
I could not go back.

© Kathleen Wilks

The Stoning of Stephen

2007-08-15T18:43:00.000Z

I have done it
again.
And
I am so sorry.
I am so ashamed
of myself.
I am not normally
a violent man,
at least
I don’t think so.
I have a temper.
Well doesn’t everyone?
But
I thought that
I could keep it
under control.
I am weak.
I am easily led
even though
I would never
admit it.

After the last time
I had sworn that
I wouldn’t let it happen
again.
I had felt so bad
at that awful Passover
when I had joined
with the crowd,
shouting,
‘Release Barabbas!
Release Barabbas!’
shouting
‘Crucify him!
Crucify him!’
I hadn’t really
meant it.
I was just caught up
in a crowd.
I didn’t want
to stand out
so I had shouted
with the rest.
But
he was innocent,
I’m sure of that.
I thought they would
let him go,
but they didn’t.
I saw what they did
to him.
I saw him on
that cross
and
I was ashamed.

I have tried to forget;
tried so hard
but it won’t go away.
And, ever since,
his followers keep talking
about him
as if
he was alive.
And now
it’s all happening again…
has happened again.
Why
am I so weak?
Why
couldn’t I have left
well alone?
Why
couldn’t I have been
man enough
to try to stop them?
Why
did I pick up
that stone?

His words
haunt me;
fill my mind
and my thoughts.
He was talking
to this Jesus;
talking to him
just like he was there
with him.
And he asked him
to forgive us.
Forgive!

How can I be
forgiven?
Why should this
Jesus
forgive me?
Even if he is alive
why would he want
to forgive me?
After what I’ve done
how could Jesus
forgive me?

Jesus,
if you are
really there;
really alive,
I am so sorry.

© Kathleen Wilks

On the Road to Damascus

2007-08-15T18:26:00.000Z

What more can I say?
What more can I do?
You,
who have read and studied the Scriptures;
you,
who claim that you know about
the Lord God,
My Father;
you,
who claim that you know about
the Messiah;
you,
are blind.

Look up
now
into the Light.
Look,
at Me.

I have fulfilled
on earth
all that was said
about Me.
I was,
I am,
I will be,
the One
who was foretold.

The Spirit
was put upon Me.
A bruised reed
I did not break;
a smouldering wick
I did not snuff out.
I was
despised and rejected
by men.
I was
oppressed and afflicted
yet I did not open My mouth.
I was
led like a lamb to the slaughter;
like a sheep before her shearers
is silent
so I did not open My mouth.

I took your infirmities.
I carried your sorrows.
I was pierced for your transgressions.
I was crushed for your iniquities.
The punishment that brought you peace
was upon Me.
By My wounds you are healed.
And yet,
and yet
you say
Who are you Lord?

You are blind now
but
I will make you see.

© Kathleen Wilks

Jesus' Baptism

2007-08-14T19:50:00.001Z

Everyone had heard of him,
this man that lived
in the desert.
John
his name was
although some people thought he was
Elijah.
I ask you!
Elijah had been dead and gone
for so many years.
But there was something
odd about him,
frightening even.
I’d been out there
to see him;
to listen to him,
and frightening probably sums it up really.
He looked wild.
And his voice!
Boy could he shout!
And some of the things he said!
He certainly put
the Pharisees
in their place.
Anyone who dares to do that
gets my support every time.
There was something
hypnotic
about him too;
compelling.
You had to keep going back
no matter how
uncomfortable
he made you feel.
He always ended on the same note.
‘Repent,’ he shouted,
‘and be baptised.’

At first we all resisted.
It wasn’t for the likes of us.
But,
one by one,
my friends had given in.
So now I had them getting at me too.
But I was made
of sterner stuff.
I would go along
just to be sociable
but I wasn’t going
to be baptised.
No way.

And so it happened,
on this particular day,
that we were all there again
listening to John,
when suddenly
his face changed
and he fell silent.
Following his gaze
we all looked
as this other man
approached.
He had obviously come
to be baptised,
but, strangely
John seemed reluctant.

Anyway
he must have persuaded
John
because they went
into the river
together,
and the most amazing thing happened.
As this man
came up out of the water
the clouds parted;
the sky became bright,
dazzlingly bright,
and I heard a voice
saying,
‘You are My Son,
whom I love’.

I don’t know who else
heard it.
And I’m not going to admit
I did,
to anyone else,
but
I knew this man heard it too,
because of the look
on his face.

I can’t describe that voice
but I want to hear it again,
and again.
I want it to speak
to me,
like that;
to say words
like that,
to me…

I want
to be
baptised.

© Kathleen Wilks

The Wedding at Cana

2007-08-14T19:41:00.000Z

Everywhere was chaotic.
We were rushed off our feet.
We were used to hard work
but this was different.
This was a wedding feast.
This was fun.
Everything had been prepared
down to the last detail
and all seemed
to be going well.
Our master was pleased
which meant we could relax
for the time being
and enjoy the party –
just so long as we kept
our eyes and ears open
and were ready
to carry out any instructions
that came our way.
Woe betide any of us
caught off guard.
Our master was fair
but he expected
immediate,
unquestioning
obedience.
Suddenly
we noticed a change
and we were instantly
on the alert.
The urgent order came.
‘Fetch more wine’.
We rushed off.
We searched
and
we panicked.
There was no more wine.
How were we going to explain?
What should we say?
Then one of the guests
came over to us.
She must have been watching;
must have realised
the predicament we were in.
She told us to follow
whatever instructions
her son gave us.
Well,
anything was worth a try.
So we waited
expectantly
for him to tell us
where
we could get more wine.
But he didn’t.
He told us to fill the jars
with water.
Water!
We hesitated.
Was he joking?
It was going to take time
to fill the jars;
precious time
we could ill afford
in the circumstances.
And
which of us
was going to dare
to take
water
to the master,
especially in his current mood.
There was more than
our jobs
at stake here.
But
something about him;
something in his voice;
something in his eyes
persuaded us to obey
without question;
without further hesitation.
Putting our full trust
in this man;
this unknown guest
we took the water
to the master
and we offered it to him
to taste.

© Kathleen Wilks

The Woman at the Well

2007-08-14T19:32:00.000Z

Men!
Ruined my life they had.
All of them.
Each in their own way.
All they did was
take,
take,
take.
The world would be better off
without them.
That’s my view.
Mind you,
the world would be better off
without some women too;
pointing at me;
laughing at me;
sneering behind my back.
I know they do.
At least I can get some peace
while I go for
water.
No one else
will be there
at this time.

Oh!
I can see someone sitting
at the well.
But I can’t go back,
not now I’m nearly there.
Never mind
words can’t hurt.
And I’ve heard it all before.

Oh no!
It’s a man.
With any luck
he’ll ignore me.
I’ll just get
the water
and be gone.

He’s asked me
for a drink.
Say it slowly –
He
has asked
me
for a drink.
I’ll have to reply.

This isn’t bad really
although I hate to admit it.
He’s not like the others;
not like anyone else
at all.
I’m quite enjoying this.
It’s so long
since I had a real conversation
with anyone.
And he’s treating me like
I matter.
Him!
A man!

He’s saying some
fantastic stuff,
all about
living water.
If it had been anyone else
I would have laughed
but
there is something about him.
I want to know more.
I want this water,
whatever it is.

It’s getting a bit too
personal now.
He asked me to call
my husband.
I told him
I hadn’t got one.
Why did I do that?
What’s it got to do with him?
And yet
I wanted him to know.
But it seemed
that he already knew.
Who is he,
this strange,
compelling
man?

I want to know
I really do want to know.

He says
he is the Christ.
Say it slowly.
He says
he is
the Christ.

I need to get away.
I need to think.
I need to tell
someone,
anyone,
everyone.
Never mind
if they think I’m mad.
I don’t care.

His friends are coming.
I’ll go now.
But I’ll come back
whether others come with me
or not.
I’ll have to come back.
I’ll have to know more
about
this man.

© Kathleen Wilks

The Man with Leprosy

2007-08-14T19:23:00.000Z

I don’t think
anyone
really understood
what it was like
not to be able
to go where you wanted;
when you wanted,
or
to see whoever you wanted.
Being able
to walk
and to talk
freely
was something most people
took for granted.
Even I
had taken all this
for granted
until it happened.
The worst thing
was that
I was not allowed
in the Temple;
not allowed
to worship.
I was unclean.
Instantly
I had been ostracised;
I had become
an outsider;
an untouchable.
Those who had
walked with me;
talked with me;
known me before
now kept their distance.
I was alone.
I was isolated
and it was hard.
I didn’t feel any different
inside.
I was the same person
that I had been before,
but….
I thought
I had resigned myself
to this solitary life.
I thought
I had accepted
my fate.
Then I heard
that this man,
Jesus,
was healing people
and
all my longings;
all my desire
to be whole again
re-surfaced.
I had to try.
But how?
How could I get near him?
Would he shy away from me
like everyone else?
Could I bear
another rebuff?
Could I bear
the shame;
the crushing sense
of hopelessness
returning?
Could I?
Something inside me
said, yes.
said, give it one more try.
said, go.
So I went.

As I approached,
a way opened
through the crowd.
I didn’t look at them.
I didn’t care why
they were backing away.
All I saw
was this man,
Jesus,
and he wasn’t
backing away.
Still I kept my distance.
I knelt down.
in front of everyone.
I begged for help.
I didn’t care anymore.
This was my last chance.
I couldn’t look
to see what was happening
and yet I knew
that he had moved
towards me;
towards me
and not away from me.
And then,
wonder of wonders,
he touched me.
I can’t describe
what that touch
felt like.
It was so long
since I had had
any human contact.
His touch
spread fire
through my body
and,
even before he spoke,
I knew
I was clean.

© Kathleen Wilks

The Paralysed Man

2007-08-14T19:15:00.001Z

There was a lot of commotion
in the town that day;
a lot of people,
and
a lot of people
meant money.
It was the only way
I could make ends meet;
pay my way.
I couldn’t earn my own living;
I couldn’t work.
I couldn’t work
because
I couldn’t walk.
I couldn’t even move
without the help
of others.
I was dependent
on others
and
I hated it.
I was bitter.
I felt twisted inside.
I had so much
anger
in me
and I took it out on
anyone;
everyone
including,
and especially,
God.
But my friends
stood by me;
understood me
maybe better
than I understood
myself.
So
instead of taking me
to my usual spot
they told me
they were taking me
to see Jesus.
That was the reason
for the commotion.
Jesus
was back in town.
I didn’t want to go.
I didn’t want to see him.
If he really did have
anything to do with God
then
he, too,
was part of my problem;
he, too,
was a focus for my anger.
It was one thing
to be angry with God
from a distance;
quite another
to be angry with him
face to face.
I didn’t want to go
but,
being unable to help myself
I had no option.

There was such a crowd
outside the house.
‘Good,’ I thought,
‘they will turn round.’
But no.
They were so determined.
I was manhandled
up some stairs
and on to the roof.
Then they lowered me down
into the middle
of the crowd.
Anger;
bitterness;
embarrassment;
shame;
every emotion was there
jostling to be expressed.
But I kept quiet,
seething inwardly.
I didn’t dare
look at anyone,
especially not
at Jesus.
Then he spoke.
He forgave me!
It was like
a hot needle
piercing
right through me.
Pain;
exquisite pain
through
my whole body
and
into my heart.
I had not felt pain
like this before;
not felt anything
for so long
that I had forgotten
what it was like
to feel;
to be touched.
But more,
so much more
than feeling
was the effect
on my heart;
on me.
All the bitterness;
all the anger;
all the frustration
seemed to be burnt away
leaving peace;
such peace,
that I felt,
actually felt
my body
relax.
Then,
and only then,
did I look at him,
and I knew
I had met God.

© Kathleen Wilks

At Bethesda

2007-08-14T18:54:00.000Z

‘Do you want to get well?’
What sort of
stupid question
was that?
I ask you!
I’d been like this
for thirty-eight years now
and suddenly
some total stranger
comes up to me
and asks me,
‘Do you want to get well?’
What did he think I was doing
at Bethesda
for heaven’s sake!
So,
I gave him
rather a sharp reply.
As soon as
I had said it
I regretted it.
I didn’t mean it to sound
the way it came out,
And,
to be fair,
this man
seemed
genuinely concerned.
After all,
he had bothered
to stop,
to bend down,
to talk
to me.
And the way
he had looked at me.
I can’t describe it
but
he seemed to be looking
right at me,
right inside me.
Maybe
that was why
I had reacted
as I did.
It was very uncomfortable
having someone
see
the real me.
Maybe
I was a little ashamed.
There were things
in my past
I wanted to stay hidden;
hidden,
especially,
from this man,
whoever he was.
And anyway,
did I really want to get well?
Of course
the answer should have been
a resounding
yes, yes, yes.
But
what would it mean?
What would it cost me?
Where would my security be?
What would I do?
So many questions;
so many doubts,
but
too late
to voice them now.
This man
was still looking at me
and
I think
he knew my thoughts.
In fact
I’m sure
he knew them.
Without hesitation
he told me to get up;
to pick up my mat;
to walk.
And I did!
Just like that.

So much to adjust to;
so many new sensations.
I couldn’t take it all in
at first.
And then,
when I looked round
for this man
he had gone,
disappeared
into the crowd.

I longed to know his name.
Who was he?
Where had he come from?

I do hope
that
I meet him
again
one day.

© Kathleen Wilks

Feeding the Five Thousand

2007-08-14T18:50:00.000Z

My mother
always made me food
to take with me.
‘You should always be prepared,’
she said.
And I have to admit
there were many times
I had been glad
of the food
she provided.
She knew, you see,
that I liked to wander off
into the hills
and I was always late home.
There were always so many
interesting things to do and see
in the hills.
When one or other of my friends
joined me
we would enjoy a picnic
together.
That was another of my
mother’s many sayings,
‘You should always
share
what you have.’
I didn’t mind sharing with
my friends but there were
limits.
No way were those older boys
going to get any.
They used to stand around
in groups
and laugh at me
as I passed with my
bread and fish.
‘They’re only jealous,’
my mother said.
‘Ignore them!’
I tried.
But it was hard sometimes.
Sometimes they tried
to take my food from me.
Sometimes they succeeded.
I never told my mother that.

It was a lovely sunny day.
I hadn’t anything to do
so I’d taken myself off
to the hills
with my bread and fish.
I was alone.
My friends had gone fishing.
As I sat
on the grass
deciding what to do next
I saw crowds
of people
making their way towards me.
I stood up
ready to run
but as they got nearer
I recognised one of them.
It was Jesus.
I’d seen him before
in the town.
And I’d heard people
talking about him,
including my mother.
‘I bet she wishes she were here now’,
I thought,
as I watched them getting nearer and nearer.
I didn’t move.
I don’t think I could have, actually,
but just as the leading group
reached me
they all stopped.
When Jesus began to speak
I was hooked.
I didn’t understand a lot of what he said,
but his voice…
And the things he did!
He healed people,
actually healed them,
right in front of me –
well almost in front.

Before I realised it,
it was evening.
Jesus had stopped speaking
and healing
and I suddenly realised
I was hungry.
‘Good old mum,’ I thought.
‘She’s done it again.’
As I started
to unpack my little bag
I heard Jesus talking
with his friends
about what they were going
to eat.
‘They should have a mum like mine.’
I thought.
‘I must tell her when I get home.’
But then
a nasty thought struck me.
‘She’ll ask me if
I shared
the food!’
At that precise moment
one of Jesus’ friends
came up to me and asked me
if I had any food
to spare.
I showed him.
For a split second
I thought of taking out
one of the loaves
and keeping it for myself
but it was too late.
He was taking me with him
to Jesus.
Everything else became a blur.
All I could see was Jesus.
Jesus, looking at me
and smiling.
He held out
his hands
and I gave him
the five loaves and the fishes,
freely,
willingly.
I would have given him
anything,
everything…
I just hoped that he didn’t know
about my idea of keeping a loaf back.
I wanted him to know
I was sorry.
I looked at him.
He looked at me.
He knew.
I knew he knew.
But I also knew
that he forgave me,
that it was forgotten
and I felt
so relieved,
so good,
so happy.
I wanted that moment
to last
forever.
But it didn’t.

Jesus took the bread.
He gave thanks and
he gave it to the people,
Yes the people,
all the people, not just some of them,
and to me.
I don’t know how
he did it
but we all had
enough.
Well I had more than enough actually
but I’m not telling mum that.
In fact
I don’t know
what I am telling mum.
She just won’t believe it
if I tell her
how many people
shared her food.
I wish she’d been here.
I wish she could meet
Jesus.
Then she would believe.

© Kathleen Wilks

The Blind Man

2007-08-14T18:24:00.000Z

Put that away
and come and sit down.
I’ll tell you what happened
today in town.
It was incredible.
Everyone’s talking about it.
OK, OK
I’ll start at the beginning.

Remember that man we passed
the other day
that we all thought was blind?
Well he isn’t anymore.
And people are saying now
that he never was.
I don’t know what to think.
I mean, he was blind
wasn’t he?
You thought so too
didn’t you?
No doubt about it.
But now he’s walking around
seeing.
How can that be?
I know, I know.
I’ll start at the beginning.

We were all there
at our meeting
as usual,
carrying out our Sabbath duties
when there was this commotion
and a crowd of people
burst in
pushing this man in front of them.
They were all talking
at once
so it took a while
to get some order
and find out
what had happened
and how come he could now see.

You’ll never believe
what he said.
I mean, far fetched
or what!
OK, OK
I’ll tell you.

He said someone
had put mud on his eyes
and when he had washed it off
he could see.
I thought, if all he had to do
was wash
then why hadn’t he done it before.
But then
someone brought up the point about
the mud.
That focused our minds.
After all,
you can’t go around
making mud
on the Sabbath.
Everyone knows that.
So what was going on?

Well, everyone had their own views
and we all started
to argue.
It got quite heated,
because if we let this go
then what next?
Rules are rules
and if they start to be broken
willy nilly
then that results in
chaos.
We decided we needed
to know
who
had started this
so we could put a stop to it
before it got out of hand.

No, I don’t think
we were over-reacting.
We all need to know
where we stand.
That is why we have rules.
And if we have rules
we have to abide by them
otherwise there is anarchy
and then where would we be?
Anyway, don’t interrupt.

While we were debating this
the man was just standing
staring at us.
I don’t know if it was just
that he hadn’t actually
seen people before
but he did look rather
disapproving.
I think that might have been
why some of my colleagues
rounded on him
so vehemently,
especially when he claimed
this man was
a prophet.

Anyway,
to cut a long story short
his parents were sent for.
I have to admit
I felt a bit sorry for them.
I wouldn’t have liked
to have suddenly been dragged in
and grilled like they were.
But they confirmed
that their son
had been born blind.
I know, I know,
I’ve never doubted it before
so why now?
And it would have been much easier
for them to say he wasn’t.

No, just be patient.
I’ve nearly finished.
The man was still around somewhere
so we called him back
and started asking him
the same questions.
Who?…How?…What?
I think
he was getting a bit sick
of it all
because he got quite stroppy
and asked us
if we wanted to become
disciples!
That was the last straw
for some of them
and they had him
thrown out.

But
there was something
about him;
about his story.
I can’t get his last words
out of my mind.
‘If this man were not
from God
he could do nothing!’

I’ve been thinking
about them
all the way home,
trying to dismiss them.
but I can’t.
They won’t go away.

What if he is right?…

© Kathleen Wilks.

My Ways

2007-07-12T11:04:00.000Z

I tell you,
you are where I would have you be;
you are doing what I would have you do.
Do not look for other tasks,
they are not for you, not yet.
Do not look at others and wish to be like them.
I do not want this for you.
I have placed you where I want you to be.
I give you tasks I want you to do.
I send to you people I want you to meet.
There are some things only you can do,
things only you can say.
You do not know My thoughts.
They are not your thoughts.
You do not know My ways.
They are not your ways.
My thoughts are higher than your thoughts.
My ways are higher than your ways.
But you are a part of My plan,
A very special part.

Each day I am with you
whether you are aware of Me
or not.
I share each moment with you
whether good
or bad.
And some will be bad.
It is part of life
that there will be pain and sadness.
These times are hard for you.
I know your pain;
your sadness;
your struggles.
Never, never doubt this.
But know that I take each moment
and weave it into My eternal plan.
You may not understand.
You may never understand
but I want you to know
that I am in control;
that there is a purpose;
a plan;
My plan.
All things do work together for good
for those who love Me.
I promise you that.
But I need you to trust Me.
I am there for you to lean on.
I am there to carry you if necessary.
I am there beside you.
I cry with you.
I suffer with you
And I also rejoice with you
and for you
when you are glad.

At the end of each day,
come to Me;
share with Me
the times of joy;
the times of pain;
the times when you have been surprised;
the times when you have been concerned.
It is pleasing for Me
to share like this with you
as an earthly father delights
to share with his child.

And you are My child,
My precious child.

© Kathleen Wilks

Trust in Me

2007-06-19T12:32:00.001Z

I am holding you

2007-06-19T12:17:00.000Z

You do not need
to cling on to Me
so tightly
as if your life depended on it.
It is not you
who holds on to Me,
but rather
I hold you.
My grip
is so firm,
so strong,
yet so gentle
that sometimes
you may not even
be aware of it.

Like an earthly parent
holds a child
and that child
has no fear of falling,
so
I hold you,
My child,
My precious child.

Have confidence
in Me.
Learn to trust Me
more
so you can live
as I wish for you to live.
My Son came
to bring you life,
life in all its fullness.
I want you to know
this life.

My child,
trust Me.
I hold you
in the palm of My hand
and
I will never let you go.

c Kathleen Wilks

Pentecost

2007-05-13T14:41:00.000Z

It was so crowded
in Jerusalem today,
and so busy.
But that’s not why
I’m late.
Something
amazing;
extraordinary
happened
and I couldn’t leave,
not until I was sure
it was over.
Mind you
I don’t think it will
ever be over,
not now.
I think,
I know
that what I saw
and heard
was just
the beginning.

It started
as I passed the place
where this man
Jesus’ disciples
were staying.
You know
the people I mean.
Ever since
the Passover celebrations
and that awful day
when it went dark;
when their leader was
crucified
I have seen them around,
meeting in groups;
praying in the Temple.
It always struck me
that they were
waiting
for something to happen.
I don’t know what,
but something.

Anyway,
to get to the point,
I think
that ‘something’
happened
today.

I was just walking past
the house
as I said
and there was
this ‘sound’
all round
like a sudden gale.
But
in the street
where I was
it was calm.
It was really
strange;
eerie,
like something
had passed through me.
And then,
well,
you’ve never heard
anything
like it.
This sudden noise
came from the house
like the sound of
a thousand voices
all speaking at once
but,
well,
I can’t really describe it.
It wasn’t raucous.
It was harmonious;
beautiful,
exciting.
I couldn’t move.
I was rooted to the spot.
The crowd grew
bigger and bigger.
All of us
just standing there,
listening.
And then
it hit me.
I suddenly realised
that the voice
I could hear
above all the rest
was speaking
to me,
in my own language;
one I hadn’t used
for years;
not since coming to Jerusalem
in fact.
Talking to me,
me, personally,
and telling me things;
such wonderful things
that I can’t share
even with you.
It was like
my heart
was on fire.
I couldn’t leave.
I didn’t want to leave.
I wanted;
needed,
to know more,
more
about this
Jesus.
There is so much more
to learn;
to know;
to understand.
But
I have started.

I have been baptised.

I had to tell you.

© Kathleen Wilks

The Ascension

2007-05-13T14:25:00.000Z

This time;
this time
it was all
so peaceful;
so calm;
so unhurried.
Like before
we knew
He was leaving us,
but
this time
there was no noise;
no angry crowd;
no insults;
no brutality.
And no death.
Strange that.
He was leaving us
but
He wasn’t dying.
He was going away,
yes;
going back to be
with His Father,
yes,
but
not dying.
And this time,
this time
we were not sad.
We rejoiced
with Him,
that His job was done;
that His task had been completed;
that He had triumphed.
And
we had had the privilege,
the joy,
the pain
of sharing His journey
with Him
here on earth.
But
more than that
He had shown us
the Way;
the Way to God
that we too could travel.

We too could
share His journey
back to Heaven
one day.
And,
what was really
exciting,
thrilling,
comforting
was
that He had promised
to be with us
on our journey;
all the way.
And if there was
one thing we had learnt
it was
that Jesus
always
kept His promises.

c Kathleen Wilks

The Sculptor

2007-04-23T12:01:00.000Z

I am the Sculptor.
I am the Creator.
I have fashioned you
as you are;
as I would have you be.
You are Mine.
You are My work of art,
My passion
and My delight.
I fashioned all My children.
I fashioned
each one,
unique
and precious
in My sight.
Do not look at yourself
and see blemishes
and imperfections.
Look rather at yourself
through My eyes;
the eyes of Love.
The body is only
a shell;
a place to house
the treasure within,
and that treasure
shines
with a beauty
that only I can see
at present.
But one day
you too will see
fully,
clearly
and you will marvel
that you did not see it
before.
Glimpses of that beauty
shine through you now
and can be seen
by others.
I long
that you will let more
of this beauty
shine through.
Do not hide it
through fear;
through unbelief;
through doubt.
It is there,
this beauty within,
for
I have put it there.
It is
there to be seen;
there to grow;
there to shine
if you will let it.
My world
needs to see
more
of this beauty,
this light,
for it is a dark place
for many.
Go forth, therefore,
My precious ones,
as children of My light,
and
let the world see;
let the world know
of this hidden treasure
I have created;
created out of love.

© Kathleen Wilks

By Name

2007-04-22T16:05:00.000Z

Fear not, for I have redeemed you.
I have called you by name.
A name I have given to you,
to you alone.
No-one else has this name.

I used this name
when I asked My Son to redeem you,
My chosen one.
It is the name My Son uses
when He prays for you,
and I listen to His prayers
because I know of whom He speaks.
I know you.

This is why I have named you.
As a father names his child
so I named you.

Before you were born
I knew you;
what you would be like.
And your name describes you
as I know you to be;
the real you.

And when My Son presents you to Me
and you stand before Me
I will speak this name to you.
I will welcome you by this name.
And you will know
how you are known.
And you will know
how you are loved.
And you will know
beyond a shadow of doubt
that you are Mine.

© Kathleen Wilks

Jairus

2007-04-04T19:39:00.000Z

She was ill,
my little girl;
my only daughter,
and I couldn’t help her.
We had tried everything,
and
I mean everything,
but she just got worse.
We were
desperate,
helpless,
hopeless.
I couldn’t stay in the house
any longer
watching her suffer;
unable to say
or do
anything to help.
I knew she was dying
but
I couldn’t stay.
I had to get out;
to be alone.
So
I went to the lake;
the place I had been to
so often recently,
to be alone.
But this time
I was not alone.
It was far from the silent place I knew.
There were crowds of people.
There was noise and commotion.
And,
in the middle of it all,
was Jesus.
I knew all about
Jesus.
A dangerous man;
a rebel;
someone to be watched;
trouble,
they said.
But
had he not turned water into wine?
Had he not performed miracles?
Had he not healed people?
And suddenly,
in a blinding flash,
I knew what I must do.
I didn’t care who saw me.
I didn’t care what they thought.
I had to go to him
and ask for help.

Before I knew it
I was next to him.
I looked at him.
He looked at me
and
all the things I had planned to say
went out of my head.
I fell down at his feet
and poured out my heart to him,
oblivious of the crowd;
what they would think;
what they would say.

When he said he would come with me
my heart leapt for joy.
I knew he would help.
She was going to be all right.
I wanted to run back.
I wanted him to hurry.
I wanted to see her well again
now,
this minute.
But
he wouldn’t be hurried.
he wouldn’t be rushed.
We moved so slowly,
so slowly.

And then
I saw them,
coming from my house;
saw their faces.
My heart stopped.
Hope died.

Through the mist
that surrounded me
I heard his voice,
‘Do not be afraid,’
he said.
I looked up.
I saw him
looking at me;
looking
with such compassion;
such love,
that
a spark,
just a spark,
of hope
re-ignited in me.
I wasn’t sure what he could do.
I wasn’t sure what he would do,
but
I knew that,
as long as he was there,
I would get through this.

© Kathleen Wilks

The Sick Woman

2007-04-04T19:31:00.000Z

I wonder if I should go
and see Him.
They say that He’s coming today.
I won’t get another chance.
But
it will be busy;
it will be noisy;
There will be crowds.
I can’t…..

They say He can heal people.
What if I could get near
and ask Him?
No.
They wouldn’t let me;
they would stop me.
And anyway
He might not want to see me.
I couldn’t bear that
I’ll just stay here.

I can hear the noise.
He must be coming.
I will go,
just to look, mind,
from a distance,
away from all those people
who have
shunned me,
taunted me,
reviled me
for so long.
Yes, I will go.

I can see Him now,
surrounded by people,
so many people.
But at least no-one
is taking any notice of me.
Perhaps I could get closer.

If I don’t go now
He will have passed by.
I won’t get another chance.
I can’t….
I can’t speak to Him,
not here, not now.
not ever…

He’s gone past.
But now I’ve seen Him
I know
He can help.
I don’t have to speak to Him.
I’ll just touch Him.
Yes, if I can get close enough
I’ll just touch Him,
and then go back home.

There’s a gap in the crowd.
I can just squeeze through.
I can reach Him now
I can touch Him…

I’ve done it
And I feel so good,
so well,
so full of life again.
But He’s stopped.
He’s asking who touched Him.
Everyone is looking round.
It’s gone quiet…
I can’t hide any longer.
I’m trembling
as I approach Him.
Then I look at Him
and no-one else matters.
I fall down at His feet
and I tell Him everything,
everything,
like He was the only one there,
and He doesn’t stop me.
He lets me finish
and then He looks straight at me
and He calls me
‘Daughter’.
Me!
A nobody.
No one had spoken to me
for so many years
like He did then.
I look up
and I see in His eyes
such love,
such compassion.
I can’t begin to tell you
how it feels.
But I know,
I know beyond any shadow of doubt
that I am healed.

© Kathleen Wilks

Seasons

2007-04-04T18:04:00.000Z

It was summer in the city
as the crowd became a throng
of excited, eager people;
their voices raised in song
to welcome their Messiah
with branches held up high.
It was summer in the city
as the King came riding by.

It was autumn in the garden
as the Lord knelt down to pray,
for He knew that His betrayer
was already on his way.
But those He loved lay sleeping;
they heard not His anguished cry.
It was autumn in the garden
as the Lord prepared to die.

It was winter on the hillside;
all was dark and black and still.
They had scourged and crucified Him
and the crowd had had its fill.
Then the soldiers who had tortured Him
came back to pierce His side.
It was winter on the hillside
for the Son of God had died.

It was springtime in the garden
when the women came that way,
for they found the tomb was empty
and the stone was rolled away.
And Jesus Christ had risen.
Where, O death, is now your sting?
It is springtime in the garden.
Let us all rejoice and sing.

© Kathleen Wilks

A Vision

2007-03-19T13:53:00.000Z

I’d love to have a vision, Lord;
a dream that comes from you,
that tells me how and where and when,
and shows me what to do.

But You have sent a vision, Lord;
startling, real and true.
And from that cross I hear You say,
“Is this enough for you?”

© Kathleen Wilks

But Sunday...

2007-03-19T13:46:00.000Z

On Friday there was darkness.
On Friday there was pain.
But Sunday was a-comin’
when the sun would shine again.

On Friday those who gathered
watched three crosses lifted high;
heard the scoffing and the taunting;
saw their Lord and Saviour die.

On Friday those who lingered
watched the body lifted down;
heard the weeping and the grieving;
saw it wrapped in linen gown.

On Friday those who followed
watched the grave where Jesus lay;
heard again those awful noises;
saw their future fade away.

On Friday there was darkness.
On Friday there was pain.
But Sunday was a-comin’
when the Son would rise again.

© Kathleen Wilks

In the Silence

2007-03-19T13:40:00.000Z

In the dark; in the peace; in the silence;
far away from the noise and the dread;
far away from the pain and the hatred,
the Lord Jesus rose from the dead.

At the dawn, as the stillness receded;
as the sun slowly lit up the sky;
the earth held its breath as it waited,
and He waited as Mary drew nigh.

Then the earth and the heavens were joyful,
for they knew that the battle was done.
While the Lord spoke softly to Mary
they knew that the victory was won.

© Kathleen Wilks

In Three Days...

2007-03-19T13:29:00.000Z

She could still see the soldiers march past her.
She could still hear the jeers of the crowd
as her Master had staggered and fallen;
and the taunts they had shouted out loud.

She could still see the scars on His body,
and the pain that was etched on His face
as they hammered the nails in so roughly.
She could still feel the hate in that place.

She could still sense the sky growing darker.
She could still see that wound in His side.
And she knelt there bewildered, despairing,
as she thought how her Master had died.

And now, how could she show she still loved Him
or repay Him for all He had done?
She had come to the tomb very early
but His crucified body had gone…

Why do you weep, My beloved?
Let Me dry those tears in your eyes.
Did you not believe when I told you
that in three days your Saviour would rise?

© Kathleen Wilks

Easter Message

2007-03-18T18:50:00.000Z

From winter to springtime
From tempest to breeze
From snowstorm to sunshine
And buds on the trees

From grave clothes to glory
From prisoner to Lord
From vanquished to Victor
By angels adored

From sin to redemption
From blindness to sight
From guilt to forgiveness
From darkness to light

c Kathleen Wilks

Bethany

2007-03-06T14:29:00.001Z

No, I don’t understand
why she did it
Not really.
But it was right,
so very right.
I don’t know how she knew
it would be.
But that was her all over.
Nothing like me.
I’m the practical one.
I was the one
who planned and prepared
the meal.
It was to be in His honour.
He was such a good friend.
It should have been
such a joyful occasion.
We were all looking forward to it
so much,
to seeing Him again;
to talking with Him;
to listening to Him,
just to being in His company.
You knew when He entered
a room.
There was an air of peace
about Him.
And I needed that.
I was always bustling around,
busy doing something,
anything.
But He gave me
a calmness inside.

Well, that day
I was bustling around
as usual,
making sure everything went smoothly.
And He was there
with His disciples.
But there was something about Him
that was strange.
Something intangible, indefinable.
Yes, we were all enjoying ourselves
but there was something.
Sadness maybe, or foreboding…..
just fleetingly.
I suppose it could have been the rumour
that the authorities were plotting
against Him.
Whatever it was I felt it
and if I did then Mary must have.
Anyway she went and brought
the jar of perfume.
It had always been in her room.
We had never had occasion
to use it before.
It was so expensive.
But I had often wondered
what occasion would merit its use.
And now I couldn’t think
what she intended
to do with it.

What she did was
so lovely,
so moving.
She poured it out over His feet.
Not just a few drops
but all of it.

It had to be all of it
She couldn’t have kept any back,
not from Him,
the one who had given us
everything.
The fragrance was
so overpowering,
so overwhelming.
It was almost too much to bear.
It was as if someone had died.

Some people objected.
I heard them murmuring.
But they just didn’t understand,
I didn’t understand,
not really.
But it was the right thing to do.
So very right.

© Kathleen Wilks

The Last Supper (1)

2007-03-06T14:10:00.002Z

It happened again.
You remember
that I told you about
the donkey
and how
it was there ready and waiting
for us
to take it
to the Master
for that ride
into Jerusalem.

That was such
a good day
but
it seemed so long ago now.
So much had happened
since then.
Dark things.
I can’t put my finger on it
but there was an air
of tension;
of apprehension;
of expectancy,
but not a nice kind,
more like
foreboding.
It was putting a damper
on the build up
to the Passover celebrations.
But
this is what
we had come
to celebrate,
so celebrate, we would.

And that was when
it happened again.
We asked Jesus
where
He wanted to have
the meal.
I mean, we didn’t know;
we didn’t have anywhere in mind;
we didn’t know
Jerusalem.
But straight away
He told us
where to find the place;
who to ask;
what to say.
So off we went
and it was just
as He had said.
I know,
after all this time,
I shouldn’t have been surprised,
but I was.

As we prepared
for the meal
we cheered up
a little.
If He could
arrange things
in all the smallest detail,
the man;
the water jar;
the house;
the room;
well he must be
in control.
Surely
He wouldn’t let
all the undercurrents;
the rumours
of behind the scenes plotting;
the evil forces
which we felt
rather than saw;
all this
intangible darkness
get the better of Him.
If we were aware of it
then He must be.
Maybe
the meal
was His time.
He would go out
and show them all.
Maybe
this was the start
when ‘good’ would triumph.
Because He was
‘good’.
He was so lovely
to be with
even if we didn’t
always understand
what He did;
what He said;
what He wanted from us.
We couldn’t leave.
I mean
where would we have gone?

So,
by the evening,
we had everything sorted,
not just in the room
but in our minds.
This was it;
the beginning;
the start
of a new adventure
even more thrilling
than the past few years had been.

We welcomed them all in.
We sat down to eat.
And we watched;
and we waited;
and we listened.
Our expectations were so high.
And then
Jesus said,
One
of
you
will
betray
Me…

© Kathleen Wilks

The Last Supper (2)

2007-03-06T14:10:00.001Z

Silence.
There was silence.
You could have heard a pin drop.
Not a nice, peaceful, companiable
silence
but one of
shock;
horror.
We were all stunned.

Up to that point
the meal had been going reasonably well.
It had got off to an unusual start
mind you.
As we were being served
Jesus
had got up,
taken off His robe
and wrapped
a towel
around His waist.
It was rather embarrassing really
and we didn’t know
what to say.
Then,
when He fetched
a basin
and poured water in
we realised what He was going to do.
He was going
to wash
our feet;
my feet
So many thoughts rushed through
my mind.
It’s not His job.
It’s not our job.
We came here
to celebrate;
to give thanks;
to remember;
to enjoy.
It’s someone else’s job.
We have more important things
to do;
to say;
to hear.
Why isn’t someone else doing it?

As all these thoughts rushed around
in my head
Jesus
got nearer.
He had reached Peter.
Well you know Peter.
I’ve told you about him before.
Not a man to take things
lying down;
always there with
a quick word –
never mind if it was
the right word.
And he didn’t disappoint
this time.
He objected.
I admired his courage.
I felt like objecting
but I wouldn’t have dared.
I would have let it happen;
gone through with it
and then
been glad it was over.
no fuss;
no scene;
But
that wasn’t Peter’s style.
To the point was Peter.
Even when
Jesus
tried gentle persuasion
he was having none of it.
Then Jesus
looked at him
and said more sternly,
‘Unless I wash you
you have no part
with Me.’
I had to look away.
I was so ashamed
of what I had been feeling.
I hoped fervently
that Jesus didn’t realise;
didn’t know my thoughts.
I kept my eyes lowered
as He knelt
in front of me.
I was so humbled.
I gave Him
one foot
and then the other.
He took
and He held
each one
in His hands
so tenderly;
so gently.
He washed them.
He dried them.
And in a strange way
He gave them back to me
clean,
strengthened,
renewed,
ready
for the next journey
wherever that might be.
He looked at me.
I looked back at Him
and He smiled.
Such a sad smile.
And my heart went out to Him.

He went back to His place
at the table.
The meal continued.
Conversation rallied.
We became relaxed again.
And then
He said,
‘One of you
will betray me.’

And that was
the reason for
the silence.

© Kathleen Wilks

Washing your Feet

2007-03-06T14:10:00.000Z

I am kneeling
here
at your feet.
I am asking you
to take off your shoes.
I am asking you
to let Me
wash your feet,
but
you are resisting.
Why?
What do you fear?
Of what are you ashamed?
Do you not want Me
to see
the dirt;
the grime;
the imperfections?
Would you rather
keep them
secret?
Do you fear
that I will reject them;
that I will refuse to wash them;
that I will think them too dirty;
that I will think them beyond help?
O My child,
My precious child,
I already know
what they are like.
I know
how dirty they are;
how painful they can be;
how tender in places.
That is why
I am offering
to wash them.
I am offering
because
I can help
If you will let Me;
if you will surrender
to Me.
Give them
to Me
willingly.
Do not fear.
Do not be ashamed.
Let Me
wash
your feet.

My child,
I am kneeling here
before you.
What
do you want
Me
to do
for you?

©Kathleen Wilks

Simon of Cyrene

2007-03-06T14:09:00.000Z

‘Hey,
you there,
come here!’
Those words sent a chill
down the spine
of all of us
who heard them.
We all fell silent.
We all backed away;
pretended that we weren’t there.
Not me!
They couldn’t mean
me!
The art of survival
was to be
unnoticed;
unnoticeable,
especially at times like these.
And anyway,
I should not have been
in this place
at this time.
I was only
passing through,
delayed
by the mass of people
watching
this gruesome parade
of men
going to their deaths.
One of the men,
more battered and bruised
than the others
had fallen
just in front of us.
The heavy cross
had thudded
on the ground
and he was too weak
to lift it up.
Even the soldiers,
brutal men that they were,
realised that,
hence the chilling order
to step forward;
to stand apart from the crowd;
to be part of that gruesome procession,
And,
with a sickening feeling,
I knew
they meant me.
I was rooted to the spot.
I couldn’t move.
My legs turned to jelly.
Everything inside me
screamed out,
‘no’.
Then real panic
set in.
What did they want me to do?
Did they want me
just to carry the cross?
I could do it.
I was strong enough
but
what would people think,
seeing me in that procession?
Would I be abused?
Would I be spat upon?
And then what?
When we got there
would they just
let me go
or did they plan for me
to take this man’s place
to the bitter end?
Did they intend
to
crucify
me
in his place?
The soldiers seized me
and
dragged me forward,
a weak
trembling shadow
of the man I had been
minutes before.
As the cross
was lifted on to
my shoulders
the man,
whose cross it was,
looked at me;
looked into my eyes.
No words were spoken
but
the love;
the gratitude;
the understanding
that flowed out
from those eyes
just overwhelmed me.
My strength returned.
My fear left me.
I knew
at that moment
I would do anything
for this man.

© Kathleen Wilks

The Crucifixion

2007-03-06T14:08:00.002Z

For thirty years
I had
looked after him;
looked out for him.
I had
held him;
taught him;
nurtured him;
brought him up;
encouraged him
to be the man
he is.
It had not always been easy.
I had known from the start
that he was
different;
that he had been
born for a purpose;
a purpose
higher
than I could understand.
I had been warned
that it would be
costly
but,
surely,
it couldn’t end
like this.
Surely
God,
his Father,
would step in
and save the situation;
save him.

This is
His Son
up there,
dying.

This is
my son
up there
dying,
and
I can’t help him;
I can’t get near him
to touch him;
to hold him;
to tell him
that I love him.
I want him
to know I am here;
to know I am staying here;
to know I will not desert him;
to know
that I love him;
to say
goodbye.

Why
don’t they leave him alone?
Why
can’t they be quiet?
Why
don’t they all just go away
and let me
be with him?
Oh, Jesus.
Jesus, my son,
look at me.

He has looked at me.
He has seen me.
He has spoken to me.
Oh, Jesus,
my Jesus,
words are not needed
between us
anymore.
You know
that you have
my heart
for ever,
and I know
that I have yours.
I do not understand
what is going on
but
I know
that this
is how
it has
to be.

Goodbye
my son.
Go
to be
with
your Father.

© Kathleen Wilks

Nicodemus

2007-03-06T14:08:00.001Z

This was it.
Decision time.
D Day
With a capital D.
I had to decide,
today;
this afternoon;
in fact
any time
now.
I really wasn’t
in any fit state
for major
life-changing
decisions.
I was
tired,
depressed,
exhausted.
It had been
such
a traumatic week,
coming to a head
last night
when they had
arrested,
tried and
sentenced
Jesus.
And then
today
they had
killed
Him.
Death
on a
cross
The worst way
to die.
I had met Him.
I admired Him.
I liked Him.
But
now I have
to decide.

Do I like Him enough
to follow Him?
Do I admire Him enough
to give up all this
for Him?
Do I want to lose
my position,
my status,
my job,
my friends,
my home,
maybe even
my life
for someone
I don’t really know,
and who, anyway,
is dead?
This is foolish,
senseless,
mad.
He’s dead.
I saw Him die.
Why am I even
having this discussion
with myself?
Why am I even
considering
going out on a limb
like this?
What is there to gain?

That’s it;
The crux of the argument.
What is
there to gain?
When I talked
with Him
He tried to tell me
about
a better way;
a better place;
a better life,
- for eternity.
It unsettled me then
but it has stayed
in my mind.
I have thought about
what it could mean.

I have thought about it
often.
I thought I had time
to consider;
to come to a decision.
But now,
today
I have to choose.
And if
I say yes
then there is
no going back.
I will have
burnt my boats.
Am I ready?
Am I prepared for this?
Am I?

Joseph
has arrived.
It’s now
or never.

© Kathleen Wilks

Liminal Space

2007-03-06T14:06:00.001Z

My child,
I give you
this space;
this doorway space;
this space between;
between what was
and what will be.
You need this space.
It is My gift
to you.
It is a time
for reflection;
for contemplation;
for rest.
Time
to forget
what needs to be forgotten;
to reject
what needs to be rejected;
to forgive
what needs to be forgiven.
Time
to consider
what needs to be considered;
to strengthen
what needs to be strengthened;
to deepen
what needs to be deepened.

You are not left
alone
in this space.
My child
I am with you.
I am,
that is My name.
If you will let Me
I will guide you
in this space.
I will teach you.
I will prepare you,
and
when you are ready,
together,
We will move forward
across the threshold
to new life.

Remember
this time
between.

The time
between
My Son’s death
and His resurrection
was precious.

Times between
are precious.

My child,
do not waste
this time.

© Kathleen Wilks

Mary of Magdala

2007-03-06T14:06:00.000Z

He called my name.
My heart skipped a beat
and I knew
that it was him,
Jesus.
How
I didn’t know,
and
I didn’t care.
He was here.
He was alive.
He was talking with me
and
that was all that mattered.
I wanted
so much
to hug him;
to hold him;
hold him so tightly
to make sure
he was real;
to make sure
he couldn’t go away
again.

It had been
so sudden;
so traumatic.
I had believed
that he would always
be there,
always
be there
for me.
and then
he was gone.
I was left
alone,
and
I couldn’t cope.
I wanted him,
I needed him,
there
with me
all the time.
And now
he was back.

But,
there was something
different.
Something
had changed.
He wouldn’t let me
hold him.
I looked up
at him,
puzzled,
pained.
Did he not know
how much
I needed
to touch him;
to reassure myself
that he was real;
to show
how much
I had missed him?
Then,
he looked at me
the way only he could;
looked
into my eyes;
into my soul
and all the broken pieces
of my heart;
of my life
were put back
in place;
put back
together again.
And
something more
was added,
something of him
like
the glue
that would
hold my heart,
hold me,
together.

Suddenly
I no longer
needed
to hold him.
He was there
with me;
inside me,
for always;
for ever.
So
when he told me
to go
and tell the others
I could go.
I could leave him,
knowing that
in some
strange
inexplicable
way
I wasn’t leaving him.
He was coming with me.
And
he would be with me
always.

Rabboni,
I love you.
I love you so much.

© Kathleen Wilks

The Road to Emmaus

2007-03-06T14:05:00.000Z

You are going the wrong way,
My children.
You are on the way
to nowhere.
I watched you
set out on this road
with sorrow.
I wanted My children
to stay together;
to stay in one place;
to be support for each other
but
you walked away
and they did not stop you.
They let you go
alone,
out
into the darkness
of the night
to face unknown dangers
around you
and within you.

You are lost.
You have lost your way.
You have lost your purpose.
You have started talking
about Me
as if I had left you.
You have stopped talking
to Me
as you once did.
Your hearts are heavy.
Your eyes are blinded
and
your ears are dulled
so much
that
you do not recognise Me,
walking beside you;
talking with you
as you walk this road.
You have not turned
to look at Me.
Your eyes are downcast,
looking only
at the stones
and the potholes
of this road.
The darkness
is deepened
by the pain
and sorrow
in your hearts.
My children,
you need to stop.
You need to rest.
You need to regain your strength
and
in that time;
in that space,
if you will invite Me in;
if you will look up,
then you will see;
then you will know
that you are not
alone.
I am with you
and
I will never leave you.

© Kathleen Wilks

Resurrection

2007-03-06T14:04:00.000Z

It was not
You
in the tomb
for you had risen.
It was me,
wasn’t it, Lord,
me,
in the dark;
in the cold;
waiting for life to be restored;
waiting,
longing,
to be filled;
to be set free;
to live again.
Then You came
and rolled the stone away.
Then You came
and stood outside my tomb
and called my name.
You came
and stood outside my tomb
and called me
to come out
into the light;
into Your welcoming presence;
into Your embrace.
And so,
Lord,
I come.

© Kathleen Wilks